Black Mesa high school (Half life Au) !!SATIRE!!

So guys what do you wanna do today🤓

TIME SKIP: 2 weeks later...

ADRIAN

Living without my mom and brother has been well, actually nice. But it still gets lonely sometimes. But I'm a lone wolf, so I don't really give a damn. Yesterday Is when I returned to school after escaping the holy hell of the Black Mesa High's nurses office.

Note to self: NEVER VIST THAT NURSES OFFICE AGAIN. THAT SHIT WAS CRAZZZYY

Anyways im back, and I have a badass idea. Wait, did I even use badass in the right context? What am I even talking about?!

Shit. 😭

Im getting off track, I stroll up to the cafeteria and I slam the door open. Cause I heard girls find it hot if you slam the door hard enough. I look around the cafeteria to see if I can spot my table from here. I eventually spot Gman, Breen, and Judith sitting at a table near a window. Great im wearing my all Black emo hottopic outfit. I'm gonna BURN. I walk up to them and sit down, flinging my backpack over my head to the seat next to me. (I almost broke my arms)

"Hey guys! Missed me?"
I said confidently and gave them a bad ass glance.

"No not really." I looked behind me to see Hahn staring at me. I just remembered that she screamed at me while I was in the nurse hell. She looks down at my cyborg leg and looks back up at me. "How is the healing process going?" She says in her kindest voice (not really). "Fine." I grab ahold of my bag to retrieve a flyer for becoming a real cyborg. "Im planning on going to this!" I show everyone the flyer and they all look at me with confusion. "..Shepherd, you're not being serious are you?" Wallace cracked a smile. "Hold on let me see this." Judith grabbed ahold of my flyer and inspected it. "Adrian this is for a comic book. Can you not read?" She gave me a concerning look.

"Yeah I can!" To be honest I really cant. But that wouldn't be badass if I couldn't read. "I think I just misread it at first!" I gave them all a reassuring smile as I took the flyer back from Judith. "Anyways besides that, I have an Idea for this weekend!"

Judith finally looked at everyone before speaking up "Adrian you are hanging out with a bunch of old people. We don't wanna do anything over the weekend." I looked around me to see that everyone was nodding I sat there silent for a moment before rethinking about what Judith said.

UH ACTUALLY YEAH SHE IS RIGHT WTF AM I DOING?

"Your right mb." *Hahn finally sighed of relief as I took my stuff and went to another table to make new friends MY AGE.

Thats when I saw Gordon and Alyx sitting together, Barney wasn't there so I was safe to sit next to them for now. I got to come out of shell for once in my life. Or should I say my gas mask😂😂 

"Hey uhhh...Alyx right?" Alyx looked up from her notebook that her and Gordon were looking at. She at first stared at me then with a warming smile "Yep! Hows it going Aiden!" Oh you gotta be kidding. I sat down and looked at Gordon who just waved and went right back to reading the notebook. "What are you guys reading?" I point to the note filled notebook. "Notes, I'm planning on upgrading Dog and Gordon is going to help me out. Barney is out getting supplies." I acted like I was listening but I was not cause I still had my headphones in listening to Linkin Park cause thats badass music.

"Adrian hows your mom doing?" Holy shit she actually called me by my name and not Aiden. "Oh she died."

"Damn that sucks" I looked behind me to see some wrinkly face dude with a helmet on and black eyes His upper face was hard to see thanks to his helmet. He wore a t-shirt that said "like my rocking shirt. Then you will like my rockin balls." And then it was a goofy emoji going 😎. I looked at him with my badass stink eye which means to gtfo but he didn't budge god. "Benrey go away." Who tf names their kid Benrey. "Nah bro I just wanna chill with yall, like...I'm bored I got no friends. Tommy left early." He was drowsy with his words and just sat himself down without permission. Alyx gave up and went back to talking to me. "Anyways later me, Gordon, and Barney are heading back to my place to help me upgrade dog wanna help?"

To be honest I didn't really want to but I knew that I much rather be at someones house then where Im at. "Yeah sure."

Benrey started to blow out bubbles that were a gradient of some sorts it let out a sweet voice and creeped the hell out of me. "DUDE GET YOUR BALLS OFF OF ME." Benrey started manically laughing before getting up and leaving to go find another table to bother. "Well uhh, heres my address." She slipped me a tiny piece of paper with her address on it. "Cool thanks. Im gonna go now bye." I got up and left the table to go home early for the day cause tbh I dont give a fart about school. And when I get home Im taking a shower I smell like cheese.

(NOTEE: still into half life and probably will be for a long time, Hahn is Helda but because my dumbass forgot her actual name back then I just made one up so for now on its Hahn.)