Stay with me/Yoonkook

Chapter 9

After the night jungkook told yoongi, something changed between them. next morning jungkook didn't feel like waking up. his body felt weak and everything just felt like falling apart. he opened his eyes and saw yoongi beside him, staring ahead, thinking deeply. his hand was in jungkook's hair, his finger smoothly massaging his scalp. he must have felt jungkook's moment in his arms because he turned to look down at jungkook, with something in his eyes that jungkook was not able to read.

"you're awake?" yoongi said softly looking at jungkook.

jungkook hummed and looked around. it took a minute for him to acknowledge their position. his head was on yoongi's chest and his arms wrapped around his torso. yoongi was holding him close just like he did last night. suddenly jungkook remembered last night and the memories of everything that had happened came back to him. yoongi must have noticed him getting lost because he was quick to grab jungkook's cheeks and make him look at him.

"Hy don't think about anything," yoongi said gently rubbing his cheeks. jungkook looked into yoongi and saw worry floating in his eyes. it made jungkook feel a little at ease knowing at least someone cared for him. he placed his hand on yoongi's on his cheek and smiled.

"I am okay hyung," jungkook said which was a lie. he was far from okay. he could feel his body breaking. the wounds were fresh and the pain was unbearable but still having yoongi this close helped a lot. he turned around to get up from the bed but flinched when his scared pained. he closed his eyes in pain when he felt yoongi's hand on his shoulder. his touch was gently almost feather-like. he helped him sit up.

"thank you hyung" jungkook give yoongi a sad smile and got up, walking toward the bathroom and leaving yoongi alone.

Trigger Warning ⚠️
self harm

he locked the bathroom door and the floodgate of his emotions opened and he broke apart. he cried silently because he didn't want yoongi to hear him. the pain was too much. he felt like he could drown in it. he screamed but no voice came out. his body was in pain and so was his heart. he let his tear flow down freely, his body trembling. he opened his eyes, his vision was blurry. he got up and looked around the bathroom in hurry, searching for something, anything. it was just then he found the shaving kit and the thing he kept so far from his sight. he took the blade in his hand and it just felt like yesterday when he drove that little steel across his skin. he hated it but it was the only thing that calmed him down. he undressed and sat on the cold tiles the coldness hitting his bare skin. soon, his vision became blurry as he started drawing with red crayons on his thighs. the high reached his brain and he threw his head back, closing his eyes and letting the pain take over him.

he walked out of the room after what felt like hours but yoongi was gone. his bed was made and there was a painkiller on the bedside. he took a painkiller and got inside his bed again.

depression got the best of jungkook again. he spent days in his room just lying on his bed staring out of the window. he didn't talk to anyone. he stopped going to school. yoongi's mom brought him food in his room but he never ate more than a few bites. he ate just so that yoongi's mom won't feel bad. but as she left he would go into the bathroom and throw up. even his mom tried to talk to him but he denied it.

yoongi was gone. since that day jungkook didn't see yoongi, nor did yoongi visit him. he wanted to ask yoongi's mom where he was but he just didn't want to get hurt, also he didn't have the energy. he missed yoongi so much but the thought that yoongi was better off without him overpowered it. creating art on himself has become a daily routine for him. there were scars scattered all over his body, his things, and his stomach everywhere. he felt like he was becoming just like he was all those years back. even his friends tried to talk to him but he just pushed them away.

it's been 2 weeks since jungkook last saw or heard anything from yoongi. he was somewhat aware that both yoongi and his father has been gone for some business thing but it didn't hurt any less. yoongi's mom spent time with him. sometimes just sitting by his side silently. she would feed him food and when he turned his face away, she would sigh. jungkook wished his mother loved him as yoongi's mother did. but he knows that she loved him, just not enough to stop the beast. there were days when everything got too much and he would break down in front of yoongi's mom. she never asked anything, she would hold him till he calmed down and fell asleep. and he liked that about her, she never asked anything but still, she was always there.

one day he woke up and the sun felt good on his skin. it was the first time in a while that he felt like waking up. he walked to the window and looked out, feeling the cold wind brushing on his skin. he was about to smile when the door of his room opened and there stood min yoongi.

Hello beautiful people

Sorry for being MIA
it feels so long lol
well, I was gone because I was working on my book and finally completed it.
it's just a poetry book but since it's my first ever book that is going to get published, it means a lot to me.
so yeah I'm excited yay.

Thank you for reading uwu