Even if the sky is falling down - A Volodymyr Zelenskyy fanfiction

Chapter 11 - When this is all over

The next day, we learn about a horrific helicopter crash and the death of three members of the government who wanted to visit soldiers at the front line. Among them, there is a close friend of Volodymyr who he has known since earlier times. Volodymyr is devastated to hear about these sad news and all the joy he had from our spicy adventure in his office the past day is gone. It is hard to keep going through the day.

When it comes to the moment that I have some minutes alone with him, I just take him in my arms. "Do you want to talk about it?", I ask him. "I don't know. I have no words for that", he responds. I lay my hand on his lower back. "I'm always there for you. Through the highs and the lows", I promise him. "I know. I don't know what I would do without you and the love you give me", he says. "May you sleep in my bed tonight? I don't want to be alone". "Of course", I answer.

A few hours later, I manage to sidle in his room. I always try to hide the "private" contact I have with the president. I don't want to provoke an international scandal which would definitely come up if someone finds out that the president is building up a new relationship while he should focus on the ongoing war.

Volodymyr sits on his bed with his face covered in his hands. I can hear him sniffle. I sit beside him and take him into my arms again. "Shhh, I'm here now". "When will this nightmare be over?", he asks me. His eyes are swollen and I ask myself where these tears come from because I thought he had used them all up a long time ago. "I'd love to tell you that it won't be long anymore, but I can't. We must keep fighting", I try to encourage him. "I don't want to fight anymore", he tells me. "Sometimes, I think about capitulating. Then this all would be over". "You know that it wouldn't. It would be the start of something worse", I say. "But it's okay to be weak sometimes. At least, you're just a human being. I understand that".

"You understand nothing", he suddenly says. Because I'm shocked, I can't manage to respond anything. "The weight of the world is on my shoulders and on nobody else's. So please, stop telling me that you understand something", he says. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just wanted to - " "Please, let me alone now", he interrupts me. "That's not fair", I state but stand up. He lifts his face to look at me. It seems as if he is really going to set up a fight between us. "Okay, I'll go. Just to make you don't feel worse. Not because I want to", I say and make my way to the door.

"I'm sorry", he says when my hand is already on the doorknob. "Don't go". I turn around and look at him. In this moment, I can see how broke he really is. This war destroys him - all his beauty, his jauntiness, his being. Tears build up in my eyes. If I can just do something to make this all stop, I would. I begin with forgiving him.

So, we lay down in bed beside each other. He wraps his arms around me and we try to sleep. But of course, it doesn't function very well. I know, it's not the right time to do anything sexual but I want to do something that he can sleep better. "Should I give you a massage?", I ask into the dark. "That would be awesome", he responds.

He turns over to lay on his frontside and I sit on him to start the massage at his back. Within a few touches, I can feel how tensed he is, especially in his neck and shoulder region. I try to put some pressure on there to loosen it. He starts to moan when I keep going and I can't help but feel myself being turned on due to that. I wander down his body and caress his legs and give him a feet massage. He starts to laugh a little when I touch the inner side of his feet. Afterwards, I tell him to turn around. I start on his shoulders again and take care about his upper body. I try to avoid to sit down on him to not come into a certain ecstasy.

He suddenly pulls me down to give me a kiss. It's hard to not lose control within seconds. I fight with myself to respect the fact that it is not appropriate to have sex right now. I break the kiss and sit up to continue my massage. "What's wrong?", he asks me. "Nothing. I just - you drive me crazy", I tell him. "I know", he simply says. "But I'm not in the mood to sleep with you right now. It's not that I don't want to. But I couldn't concentrate. And having sex with you should always be something special. Something just between me and you. With my focus on you and on nothing else", he explains. "It's okay, I don't expect you to", I tell him honestly. "Tomorrow will be a hard day. We should try to sleep now".

"I love you", he suddenly says. "When this is all over, I want you to be my wife. Could you imagine to be that?", he asks. I gasp for air. Did he really say that? Of course, I can imagine that. It would be a dream to be his first Lady. The official First Lady. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked", he throws me back into reality. "No - I mean - yes. I would love to be your wife one day", I answer. "I never want to leave your side again. You mean everything to me". He pulls me down for a passionate kiss.

When I fall to sleep, I dream about saying yes to the man that manages to drive me crazy even during a war.