Even if the sky is falling down - A Volodymyr Zelenskyy fanfiction

Chapter 26 - Never lose your strength

The sound of an emergency-call wakes us both up. The clock says 3:24 am. Volodymyr turns on the light on his bedside table and takes the phone up. "I'm hearing", he says, rubbing over his face to wake up faster. He suddenly sits up. "WHAT?!", he shouts. Then, after a while: "God needs to be with us". He hangs up. 

He turns over to face me. I can see endless concern in his eyes. "They...", he starts but isn't able to finish. I throw my blanket away and move over to sit on his lap. I take him in for a tight hug. He presses me against him. "They have blown the Kakhovka dam. I need to stand up", he then manages to say. I lean back to look into his face. "No way", I say. He nods. Then he throws his hands onto his face. He starts shaking. "Shhh, hey", I say, taking him into my arms again. His reaction scares me. It reminds me of the night when evil came over us. He was similiar vulnerable that night.

I don't know what it actually means that the Russians have blown the Kakhovka dam. I know that Volodymyr had warned the world about that scenario some months ago. The Ukrainian Intelligent Services had received some hints that the Russians are about to do that. But nobody seemed to hear him. Like so often. It's so frustraiting sometimes. And now there is another catastrophy Ukraine doesn't need. 

"Honey", I say. He is still buried into my arms. He moves back a little bit, facing me. Tears are running over his face. "I can't... I don't want to fight anymore. It just gets worse", he sobs. In this moment, his phone rings again. He doesn't move to take the call. So, I lean over to do it for him. "Anna in the line. What can I do fo you?", I ask the caller. He tells me that an emergency-meeting to talk about immediate measures is schedulded in 20 minutes. "Okay, the president will be there", I just say and hang up. 

"Vova, darling, you need to get dressed. It doesn't help anyone being weak right now. I'll call my best friend to look after the twins and join you when she's here. I'll be by your side, okay? But make everyone the favour and get in line now", I say to him. He doesn't reply anything further and gets up. 

I watch him moving like a robot. This goddamn war has broken him into pieces. It hurts so much seeing him like that. He is a complete contrast to the man he was before. Taking every person on this world into account, he was the last one to deserve something like that.

He comes over to me to kiss me goodbye. His eyes looks so sad when he looks into mine. I take his face between my hands and press my lips onto his. He lays his hand on the back of my head to pull me in even closer. The kiss we share feels very intense. A flashback of the night the invasion started runs through my mind. The situation couldn't have been more similar. 

"I guess, after this there will remain only one thing that can break me", he says after we break up. "Losing you or one of the twins", he adds. "I promise you that this won't happen", I say. He breaths out. Then he lets go of me and makes his way to the door. "I'll be with you as soon as Maryna is here", I tell him. "Okay", he says and leaves.

*About one hour later*

I slightly knock on the door of the meeting room. "Anna? Come in, please", I can hear Volodymyrs voice. I follow and make my way through the room. "Hello everybody", I just say and have a look for my seat. To my surprise, I am meant to sit right beside Volodymyr. I don't participate in these kind of meetings often. Not because I don't understand the discussed topics but because there is no need for me to be there. As a first lady, I'm not involved in politics as much as it seems. I have a more representative function. So, I plan not to say anything and just listen. Just making Volodymyr feel my presence. 

As soon as I sit down beside him, he reaches out for my hand and entangles our fingers. Our eyes meet for a short moment. Then he continues talking about the desaster the destruction of the Kakhovka dam caused. Him and the team plan an emergency-evacuation of the villages near the waterside. Then we receive a lifestream to Kakhovka-Nova, the city closest to the dam. Many houses are already under water. People are standing on their roofs, begging for help. I can hear Volodymyr starting to breath heavily beside me. Although we have already lost so many lives due to this senseless war, he is still concerned about every life that is in danger. I rub over his back to calm him down a little. 

After the lifestream is closed, Volodymyr stands up. "We should start to act", he says. "I'll have some calls to ask for international help", he adds. "Everyone knows what he or she needs to do?", he asks into the round. People nod as a result. Then everybody leaves. He gives me the sign to follow him into his office. 

He closes the door behind me. Without any warning, he presses me against the door, kissing me wildly. I grab for his shoulders and push him back. "What are you doing?", I ask him. "There is no time for that. You need to sit down and make your calls", I add. He nods. "I know. I just... I'm sorry", he says, visibly hurt. I hug him. "I won't go, okay? But you need to do your work. I can't do these calls for you". He nods and sits down. He grabbs for the receiver. "Vova, breath in and out with me two times before, please", I say. He takes in some air and breaths it out hearable two times. Then he dials a number. 

After five calls I can see that he needs a break. It is just early in the morning and we are awake for half of the night. I stand up and come over to him. I stay behind him and start to massage his shoulders. They are very tensed. He reacts with moaning out. I also take care about his neck and his upper back. He continues complementing his notes. 

Then, his phone rings again. He takes the receiver up for yet another important talk. I decide to make us two a breakfast. I leave him alone and go over to the kitchen. The fridge doesn't offer a top choice but I can at least find some eatable things. I create some scrambled eggs with tomatos and bake up some buns for us. I also prepare a coffee for Volodymyr and a tea for myself. I put everything on a tray and take it over to his office. 

I can see him smile as soon as he gets aware of me. I put some of his papers on his desk away to create some room for our breakfast. Then I hand him his coffee over. He immediately takes a sip of it. Finally, he finishes his call. "Thank you", he says. "That's what I need right now". I smile back. We then eat up in silence. 

After we finished, he gives me the sign to come over. I do and he guides me to sit on his lap. I lay me hand on his bearded cheek and caress it. "Thank you, for everything", he says. "You're the only thing that keeps me going on. Without you, I'm not sure if I could keep up the fight. I love my country and I would do anything for it. But also I have some borders", he concludes. "I know. And I'm so proud of you. How you keep going through the hardest time of our lives. You are a role model for so many people out there. Don't underestimate that. And don't underestimate yourself. You're strong. I knew it from the first day we met. And I was not wrong. Never lose your strength, Volodymyr. It would be the end for us all. Maybe the end for the world we know."