Even if the sky is falling down - A Volodymyr Zelenskyy fanfiction

Chapter 28 - Lose myself

The glass I was drinking from slipps through my fingers and falls to the ground. With a loud bang it breaks into pieces. This is not how I imagined my return to work for half a day. Volodymyr looks up from his papers and faces me. He sits opposite of me at his table in the presidential office. "Hey!", he says, worried. "Is everything okay?".

Nothing is okay. I can't believe what I had to read half a minute ago. As every one of the so-called inner circle, I receive the current news from across the country. When I returned to work at the beginning of the week, I agreed on briefing Volodymyr about the most important ones because we deicded to share his office from now on. He wants to know what I do, when I come and go. And he can also sometimes have a look on the baby-camera we have installed at home. Maryna had asked me to work for us, 'cause she needs some extra money. And when I felt how much Volodymyr needs me by his side, I took the chance. But right now, I wish that I wouldn't have come back. The news I were receiving in that moment will break Volodymyr's heart. And it is on me to tell him.

I watch Volodymyr getting up from his seat because I haven't reacted to his question. I close the laptop and sent myself to collect up the shards of the broken glass. "Don't!", he says. "You may hurt yourself. I'll call someone to bring a broom to clean up". I am in total shock. He reaches for my hand and pulles me away from the shards lying around.

"Hey!", he says again and lays his hands on my shoulders. "What information did you get that upset you that much?", he asks me. I force myself to look into his eyes. Immediately, tears build up in mine. "I'm so sorry", I whisper. His look becomes more concerned. "What are you sorry about? Please, tell me, Anna. I need to know". "There was a drone attack on civilian homes in... Kryvyi Rih", I stutter. His eyes, fixed on me, become darker. But he didn't reply anything. So, I have to go on. "They attacked Kvartal 95", I say and take a deep breath. "Vova... I'm so sorry... There were death and wounded.... Among the death ones... is your mother", I finally say. I can't look into his eyes any longer. His hands drop from my shoulders.

"No"... "no", I can hear him whispering, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry", I whisper again, in tears. He starts to walk through the room, like an animal. "Should I go?", I ask him. He stops all his moves and faces me. Then he comes straight towards me and presses me against his body. "Please, no", he just whisperes. I press my hands on his back and hold him close. I can feel that he breathes heavily. "It hurts so much", he whisperes, still buried into my arms. I don't say anything, just rub my hands over his back.

He suddenly lets go of me. "What about my father?", he then askes. "He's probably among the wounded. But I don't have verified information yet. I just know that he didn't die", I answer. Volodymyr just nods. "If I can do anything for you... just let me know", I say. "Can you... just don't let me alone?", he asks. "Of course", I say.

He sits down his office chair again. I take up the receiver to make a call. "What are you doing?", he asks me. "I'll cancel your appointments for today", I say. "No, I need to..." "You need to recover", I interrupt him. "There is nothing really important today. No state reception or something like that. Just meetings and briefings with the staff. It's okay to cancel that. And tomorrow, when the situation is clearer, we'll go to Kryvyi Rih", I finish. "Okay", Volodymyr answeres. I lean forward over the desk and reach for his hand. I stroke over it. Then I make some calls.

Ten minutes later, every appointment is cancelled. I begged the people to foresee from bringing their condolences up to the president. Volodymyr remained sitting in his chair for the whole time. His gaze is directed into emptiness. I go over to him. "Volodymyr", I say. But he doesn't react. I reach for his arm and pull at it. He seemes to come back to reality and faces me. "Hm?", he says. "Stand up, please. I'll bring you home". He followes and stands up. I hook him under and we make our way out of the building.