Even if the sky is falling down - A Volodymyr Zelenskyy fanfiction

Chapter 17 - Life as a value by itself

I can see the little body of the fetus on the ultrasonic-monitor. It is still so small, but I can already distinguish certain parts of its body.

I get a baby from Volodymyr. A baby from a man leading a country through a war. A war-time baby.

I swallow. I'm excited, of course – there is life growing up inside me. I always wanted to have kids one time – but with the right man to the right time. Not that such a moment exists, of course not. But there a better times than this one. For certain.

I ask myself how that could have happened. I take birth control pills and I'm sure that I never forgot one. I would never, 'cause when I was a teenager, I was scared to become pregnant too early. So, how is it possible? Of course, Volodymyr and I did have sex. A lot. Never using a condom. He didn't even ask to use one! He trusted me that I would prevent a pregnancy. Didn't function very well. But, as said before, I'm sure that it's not because I invested on it.

How can I tell Volodymyr? Should I even tell him? Should I greet him with "Hey, future dad", when I meet him next time? Oh lord...

"You're approximately in the sixth week", the gynecologist pulls me back to reality. How couldn't I realize by myself that I'm pregnant? Okay, I didn't get my period, but I thought it was up to the stress and pressure that I was facing. In earlier times, my period also didn't show up when I was stressed. I was not concerned about a possible pregnancy. But now I am.

"Not a good time to get a baby, right?", I ask the gynecologist. "It is always a good time to donate life, don't you think so?", she responds. "Even more important in these times when life is rediscovered as a value by itself", she says. Maybe I can tell Volodymyr that.

The biggest problem is that I can't tell anyone except of him. Even not Piotr. And Volodymyr has the right to know. To know that he will be a father. He's so good with kids. Always smiling when a toddler is around. And he takes them serious, even if they have kids-ideas. Yes, he won't have much time for his small family in the first time. But I'm the last one who won't understand...

So, there's no other way – I have to tell him. I'll look for the right moment and the right atmosphere. And then we have to make a plan. If we will tell others and if yes, whom.

Hugh. I didn't want yet another change. And becoming a mother will be a huge change. I touch my belly. The thought that there's a little Vova or Vovalina growing inside me makes me smile. In fact, I'm happy being pregnant, but I wish it would be within different circumstances. 

*Five days later*

At my second visit in the hospital, I plan to inform Volodymyr about my pregnancy. In the meantime, I was thinking a thousand times about how to tell him exactly, formulated sentences and phrases but didn't like them at all in the end. So, I decided to tell him spontaniously.

I'm not sure how he will react. I also thought about this more than once but didn't find an answer yet. Yes, he's still weak, but that concerns just his physical condition and not his mindset. I don't expect him to be happy about it. But I'm scared about a total negative reaction from his side. I don't want him to blame me for this unexpected thing. At least, it's not my fault at all.

I step into Volodymyr's room with mixed feelings. He immediately starts to smile as soon as he takes sight of me. I try to smile back as natural as possible. „How do you feel today?", I open the talk. „Way better. Maybe two or three more days and then I'll go back to work", he responds. „Two days are way too less. You'll need more rest. You got shot and lost a lot of blood, don't forget that", I answer. But I don't wonder at all that Volodymyr wants to return to his work as soon as possible. „Yeah, I won't start at 100 per cent in the first days. Maybe I'll need your help more", he says. I swallow. The fact that I'm pregnant also means that I won't be able to work as much as I did before. I also need to rest and take care of myself, to protect the baby. But that means that I can't support Volodymyr as much as he is used to and as much as I want to.

„What's wrong?", Volodymyr suddenly asks. „You're looking right through me", he says. „I'm sorry, it was a hard week". It truly was a hard week. Volodymyrs team tried to keep the control over the international reports about the assassination and the current condition of the president. My job was it to prepare statements that can be published and to oversee the reactions of the foreign press to these statements. I joined the group right after I left the hospital because everybody was needed. I didn't sleep for more than 48 hours what was clearly not good for the baby. I tried to ignore and calmed myself with the thought that this would be an exception.

I look at Volodymyr. He's going to be a father. I need to tell him, now. „There is something -", I get interrupted by a member of the president's team stepping in. „Oh, I'm sorry, I don't want to disturb you, Mr. President", he says. „What is he doing here?", I ask Volodymyr. „He reports me about the current situation on the battlefield", Volodymyr says calm. „You should not -", I get interrupted once more. „I need to know that. I can't just lay here doing nothing", he responds. I shake my head and leave the room.

I decide to not tell him right now. He's too distracted by his own recovery that moves on too slowly in his opinion and by the things he thinks he misses due to that. I don't want to just fire out these news. There will be a better moment.