If we burn } Finnick Odair

Chapter 16 ~the evaluation~

Katniss walks in. Her eyes showing fear. Finnick doesn't change his attitude towards Peeta still holding conversation with him. A part of me even wonders if he even noticed she walked in. I know Peeta did. His body tenses. I glance down at the syringe but dart my eyes back up feeling guilty that was even my first thought. I trust Peeta too much for that to be my first thought when his body tenses up.

I look at Katniss nodding for her to sit down in front of us. They'll be face to face. Katniss nods to him as she hesitantly sits down. Peeta doesn't budge. His eyes aren't filled with hate either. He just looks confused and hurt.

Prim sits beside Katniss. She's nowhere near as afraid as Katniss. She's been his nurse a time or two but she's still hesitant. "Hey Peeta." The young girl smiles at him. "..Hi." He's talking. He's talking someone who isn't Me or Finnick. Not only that it's someone related to Katniss.

"So Prim how's Buttercup?" I ask trying to break the tension clearly felt all throughout this table. "He's good. He misses home though. But he's doing good." I know Buttercup missing home is kind of a reflection of how Prim feels. I wish I could tell her they'll be able to go home soon, but in all honesty I'd feel terrible saying that. Twelve is not home to them anymore. And it'll take a while before it even becomes their home again. Way longer than it will for the rest of us. Our districts are still standing.

Finnick's pov

This week of meals with Peeta hasn't been bad. I mean a little stiff when he sees Katniss but Daphne says it doesn't look as if he hates her. He looks confused. As if he's trying to figure her out. He hasn't spazzed out or went insane once. And when Daphne takes him around thirteen he just..he's fine. He talks to both of us. Not about the capital, not about Katniss just normal stuff about life. As if theres anything normal about our lives.

I mean think about it. We're taught about these deadly games our whole lives, we get reaped into them, we survive, we become capital slaves, we get forced to go back to these deadly games, we escape, now we're fighting a war and living in an underground district we all though was destroyed years ago. Decades ago. But somehow we end up talking about the normal things.

"They want to start training me for war." He tells us. "That's a good thing. They see you as stable enough to handle it." I say. He looks down. "I don't feel stable enough." "What do you mean?" Daphne asks. "I just. I don't know. It's fine. You're right Finnick. They see an improvement." He's definitely hiding something. Or he doesn't know how to express how he really feels. Maybe he doesn't know how.

Daphne's pov

"What do you think was wrong with Peeta today?" Finnick asks both of us staring up at the ceiling in our room. My feet laying at the top of the bed my head on Finnick's stomach while he lays completely horizontally on the bed. "I think he doesn't know how to describe how he feels. He's still lost inside himself." "You're probably right."

We lay in silence just enjoying one another's company. As if we aren't always in each others company. Something I do like about thirteen is even though they're training us for a war they still allow the two of us to have time to just relax together.

"We need to ask him about that cake the weddings nearly a week away." I say. Finnick nods. "Do you want to ask him tomorrow?" I nod.

Silence again. A feeling that would make me paranoid if I weren't with him right now.

It dawns on me our mental evaluation is tomorrow. Which will mark exactly the week before our wedding. After we get "married" it's two days before the war. So honeymoon. It's all coming up so fast. Am I excited? Am I nervous? Am I afraid? The answer to all three of those questions is yes. Yes I'm excited. Yes I'm nervous. Yes I'm afraid. Actually no I'm not afraid I'm absolutely terrified.