If we burn } Finnick Odair

Chapter 25 ~the loudest sound is silence~

Nothing is louder than the sound of silence. Mags fought long enough just to see us one last time. One last time was all she needed. Tears fall down my cheeks at a rapid rate.

Mags has been there through everything. It's not fair she had to die. It's not fair it's not fair it's not fair. We knew she was getting old. We knew she wouldn't live forever. But we at least hoped she'd get to celebrate this victory with us, that she'd be there for our actual District 4 wedding, That she'd get to meet our future children. This was my breaking point. The glass shield protecting me shattered. I can't be brave anymore.

I hear quiet cries all in the room. I just realize I'm not alone with Mags. Finnick and Johanna are both here. I think we all have that moment of realization at the same time we look up at one another with red noses and tear stained cheeks.

Johanna crawls off the bed and into the floor with Finnick and I. The three of us snuggle tightly together in the floor of the room. "I tried to keep her here as long as I could." She whimpers. "Thank you." Is all I can say. Finnick can't even say anything. He's trying so hard not to completely break. At least not here.

Hours go by. We're still here snuggled up together. "Remember when we got drunk that one time? I don't remember much about that night. But I remember Mags dragging you guys by the ear." Johanna laughs painfully trying to distract all of us from the situation. "She always made the best breakfasts." Her breakfasts. The thought of them makes me cry more. We had the same morning routine every single day. Wake up, go to the beach, go to Mags for breakfast. Every single day.

A knock on the door followed by Haymitch slowly opening it. Judging by our current position he knows what happened. "How long?" We shrug completely losing track of how many hours we've been in the floor. He looks down nodding. "They want you guys to get ready to go to the capital. If you want to stay in here a few more minutes I can stall them. Finnick shakes his head. "We're coming." Slowly we get up off the floor. Johanna walks over to Haymitch walking out.

Finnick and I stay a second longer. We walk over to her lifeless body laying in that bed and what any sane person would do we hug her. That's when it all comes crashing down. Loud sobs escaping both of us. There's nothing either of us could do for the other one. This isn't like any death we've experienced before.

She lasted long enough for our return. That's all I can tell myself. We got to say goodbye.

Haymitch comes to get us. Before he can even say anything Finnick and I both hug him. "It's okay kids." It's not okay. Is it okay? No. No it's not okay. "Shh shh. I gotcha.." He shushes us both. Finnick pulls back from Haymitch wiping his eyes. I stay in his arms a second longer before doing the same.

"They're in the hovercraft waiting on us." "I don't wanna leave her." I whisper. "I know. Don't worry I already made sure if something were to happen she'd be taken care of by her wishes." We nod thanking him. Finnick and I look back at her one more time before grabbing hands and following Haymitch to the hovercraft.

The rides silent. Nobody know's what to say to us. I see Daisy sitting on Effie's lap. That brings me a little peace. Effie would be a good guardian for her.

We won the war. But this was the cost. Losing almost everyone. We knew a revolution had it's risks but I don't think we were prepared for this.

We get to the capital the star squad is taken into care. Finnick and I are separated by only a curtain. I'm emotionally and physically numb. I'm asked if anything hurts. Everything hurts. Not in the way they'd imagine. I don't think I can answer any questions. They can't help me. Instead they just examine my body. Asking for a simple nod or shake of the head for questions.

They notice my scratches and clean them. The stinging of the cleaner doesn't even make me flinch. They get a glimpse of my ankle. I haven't even looked at it. I wasn't worried about it. Puncture wounds. From the mutts. They clean it. Yet again I don't flinch. I don't even feel it. It's wrapped up.