Take My Breath Away

3

The second day of their trip went by fast. Jimin spent most of it inside the cabin reading on the couch or keeping Taehyung company by the lake where he was painting a realistic image of the landscape. He'd managed to avoid Jungkook for most of the day and when they'd been forced to be in the same room during lunch the younger boy had ignored him, a bit of an improvement if you asked Jimin. He couldn't explain Jungkook's strange actions from the night before, it made no sense. Jimin really regretted agreeing to go on that hike.

Jimin wasn't dumb, he knew that he had overdone it the night before and exposing himself to the surprisingly cold air hadn't been such a great idea either. Hoseok had scolded him for being so reckless and threatened to drive him home if he didn't take it easy. He knew he'd made a bad choice and the pressure he'd felt in his chest every time he took a breath was a constant reminder.

Jimin didn't tell Hoseok he wasn't feeling well. He didn't want to worry him and most of all he didn't want his friend to make him go back home. This trip was too important to Jimin and he wouldn't let his crappy lungs ruin it. Not this time.

His breathing got progressively worse throughout the day, not noticeable to his friends but it wasn't difficult for Jimin to tell. He desperately hoped that the sensation in his chest would go away, that for once in his life he wouldn't be punished for one bad decision. Of course, he was never that lucky.

It was now 2 AM and Jimin couldn't sleep. He hadn't slept for more than fifteen minutes, at best. It wasn't the first time his lungs had prevented him from going to sleep, and it wouldn't be the last. Hoseok had been right to scold him, Jimin knew that, but a small part of him hoped that maybe today his lungs would work fine, that they'd just do their damn job.

He tried to sit up a bit more, propped up against the extra pillows Hoseok had brought for him. Jimin was used to sleeping in a seated position. He'd spent many nights sleeping sitting up in his bed, in the comfortable armchair his mother had bought one time when Jimin's breathing had been particularly bad, or simply wrapped in his mother's embrace with his head resting against her chest. He was told from a young age to sit up whenever his breathing got bad, it facilitated the accessory breathing muscles, or so he'd been told anyway. It usually helped a lot, but tonight it didn't seem to be enough.

Jimin was trying to focus on something else than the pressure on his chest, something other than his hoarse breaths. He picked up the book he was currently reading, 'The Moon is Down' by John Steinbeck, a favourite of Jimin's. He'd read it at least four times before, he couldn't get enough of Steinbeck's beautiful descriptive writing. The book wasn't very long so Jimin would savour every sentence, every word, but tonight the words didn't seem to register, the pain in his chest far too prominent.

After another five minutes of trying to take calm breaths, panic didn't exactly help you breathe better (something Jimin was far too familiar with), he sat the rest of the way up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His hand was shaking slightly as he reached over to his medicine bag that was sitting on the small wooden bedside table. With unsteady hands, he rummaged around until he found what he was looking for, one of his inhalers that was specifically for situations like this. Jimin took the lid off, exhaled fully and took a deep breath into the inhaler. He put it down on the bedside table and put the lid back on. He put his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes slightly until stars were dancing against the darkness of his eyelids.

It would take a few minutes until the medicine would work and he needed his breathing to calm down. He cursed himself for not going back to get his oxygen tank, it would definitely have been useful now. He decided to go outside, fresh air usually helped. Jimin used to go sit on his backyard porch a lot when he was younger, when he didn't want to worry his mum. She had found him asleep against the railing in the morning more times than either of them would have liked. Jimin thought about waking Hoseok up to keep him company while his lungs struggled to calm down, but quickly pushed the thought away. He didn't want to worry the boy, he did that enough as it was. Some things never change, Jimin thought.