Take My Breath Away

12

Having Jihyun staying with him made Jimin feel more at ease than he had in weeks. His life had been a bit chaotic recently and he hadn't had the opportunity to properly speak to his brother since he'd returned from Busan. The weekend had gone by quickly, Jimin had shown Jihyun around the university and taken him to all his favourite spots in Seoul. His brother had insisted on taking pictures everywhere they went and Jimin kept laughing at Jihyun every time he got into an uncomfortable position to get the shot he wanted or when he'd bothered passers-by to take pictures of him and Jimin.
They were looking through the pictures Jihyun had taken from their walk through Gangnam and Jimin almost fell off his bed laughing when his brother showed him a series of photos of Jimin dropping his ice cream on the ground and looking like his favourite pet had died.
"I'm going to frame these." Jihyun said when Jimin had wiped the tears that had formed in his eyes from laughing so hard.
Jimin pushed his brother making him fall over on the bed next to him. "Yah! Don't you dare, or I'll send those pictures of you drooling in your sleep to your girlfriend."

Jihyun sat back up and squinted his eyes at his brother.
"You wouldn't."
Jimin got up and walked over to the bathroom, it was getting late and they had to get up early the next morning to make sure Jihyun didn't miss his train back to Busan.
"Oh believe me, I would."
Jihyun laughed and put his camera back in his bag. "You know I have way more embarrassing pictures of you than you have of me."
Jimin poked his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. "Maybe you have more, but the ones I have of you are far more compromising."
"Okay, okay. Let's just agree to keep our pictures to ourselves." Jimin could hear his brother say from outside the bathroom as he spat his toothpaste in the sink.
"Yeah I think that's for the best." He chuckled as he walked back to his bed grabbing his medicine bag from the night stand.
Jihyun was packing his things in his bag and Jimin watched him as he took his medicines. "It's been so great having you here, thank you for coming to visit me
Jihyun looked up from his belongings neatly packed in his bag and smiled at his brother. "Thank you for showing me your life in Seoul, it's been nice seeing how well you're doing here."
"It's a bit weird seeing two parts of my life coming together like this, but you just fit in so well with my friends and I don't know, it's all just coming together." Jimin closed his medicine bag and put it back on his nightstand.
Jihyun put the last of his clothes inside the bag and put it on the floor next to Hoseok's bed. "I feel like you've changed."
Jimin looked up at his brother, he was smiling at him.

"You seem happy. I don't know if it's because you're doing what you love, nerding over some dusty old book," Jimin rolled his eyes at his brother. "or if it's because of your friends, but I love it. I don't know if I've ever seen you like this."
Jimin blushed slightly and looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap. He knew why he'd been so happy lately. It was because of Jungkook. Finding his friends over the last year had greatly affected Jimin's mood for the better, but there was no denying that Jungkook had made him happier in the last few weeks than he had been in years.
He hadn't mentioned his relationship with the brown-haired boy to Jihyun, he'd been nervous to share his feelings for the boy since it was still so new. His heart beat faster just from thinking about Jungkook and he thought that maybe this was the right time to tell Jihyun, he wanted his brother to know why he was so happy.
"I- uhm." He hesitated for a second glancing up at his brother. "I met someone.'
"What?" Jihyun stared back at him with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Yes." Jimin put his hands over his cheeks, he could feel them getting warmer by the second.
"What, who?" Jihyun's face was full of excitement and it made Jimin's heart race to see how happy his brother was to hear he was seeing someone. "Why haven't you introduced him?"
"I sort of have." Jimin could see the confusion on his brother's face. "It's Jungkook."
Jihyun's face fell, he furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. "Jungkook? As in the guy who's been making your life a living hell for the last year?"
Jimin's smile faltered and he let his hands fall back into his lap. "Yeah, but he's not actually like that-" "Wait, are you serious?" Jihyun studied his face as if he was trying to see if Jimin was lying to him. "You always talk about how awful he is to you, how he makes fun of you and drives you insane."
"He doesn't do that anymore though, he's really sweet to me and-"
"Why would he suddenly be nice to you after all he's done?" Jihyun looked angry now, his voice getting louder.
"He's using you Jimin, can't you see that? What does he even see in vou?"
Jihyun seemed to regret his last words as soon as they'd left his mouth, but it was too late. He'd said them and they'd hit Jimin like a slap in the face. Jimin looked at his brother in shock. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about that too but hearing it from Jihyun hurt.
The all too familiar insecurities Jimin had bubbled up again.
What did Jungkook see in him? He wasn't particularly attractive, at least not compared to Jungkook, and in all honesty there wasn't really anything special about him.
Why would Jungkook want to be with him?
He bowed his head and closed his eyes trying his very hardest to hide how much his brother's words had hurt him. Jihyun got up from Hoseok's bed, sat next to Jimin and put his arms around him. "No that's not what I meant, I'm sorry."
"You don't even know him Jihyun," Jimin's said, his voice quivering slightly. "I didn't really know him either."
Jihyun rubbed his arm and sighed. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. I don't trust him.'
Jimin pulled back from his brother's embrace and looked into his eyes. "Don't you trust me though?"
"Of course I do, it's just-"
"Then why won't you believe me when I tell you Jungkook's changed?" Jimin offered his hand and Jihyun took it. "I like him, can't you just be happy for me?"
"I-" Jihyun looked like he was about to protest, but then he closed his mouth and pressed his lips together into a line.
He bowed his head and looked down at their interlocked hands before meeting Jimin's gaze again. "Okay."
Jimin put his arms around Jihyun's neck and rested his head against his brother's shoulder.
"I can't promise I'll start liking him overnight." Jihyun said as he wrapped his arms around Jimin's waist.
Jimin chuckled. "I know. Just try not to judge him too hard."
"I'll try."
Jimin pulled away and cupped his brother's face earning a disgruntled look from Jihyun. "You know I'm supposed to be the overprotective older brother, maybe I've been too easy on Sohee."
Jihyun pulled Jimin's hands off his face and laughed.
"Leave my girlfriend out of this."
Jihyun got up from where he was sitting next to Jimin and walked over to Hoseok's bed. He picked up his bag from the floor again and started rummaging through his things to find his toothbrush. Once he found it he walked to the bathroom, but before disappearing behind the door he turned around and looked at Jimin.
"I really am sorry for saying that stuff. I don't want you to think that I think guys wouldn't find you interesting. You know I think you're the most amazing person in the world, right?"
"Yeah." Jimin gave his brother a small smile which the boy returned before entering the bathroom.
Jimin knew Jihyun didn't actually mean what he had said, not in the way it came out anyway, but his words had sewn a seed that was quickly growing into a thorn bush scratching inside Jimin's mind. He didn't doubt that Jungkook liked him, but he didn't quite get why. His insecurities about his appearance, about his personality, about being sick kept eating at him. It wasn't until Jihyun re-entered the room that Jimin pushed the thoughts from his mind.
"What time do we have to get up tomorrow?" Jihyun asked while picking up his phone to set an alarm.
"Probably around seven, just to be safe." Jimin said while crawling under the covers, pulling his duvet up to his chin.
Jihyun let out a small laugh and shook his head. "You've always been a pessimist when it comes to time."
"Well, do you want to miss your train?" Jimin scoffed.
Jihyun locked his phone and put it on the desk between the two beds after setting the alarm. "As much as I've loved being here, that probably wouldn't be the best."
Jihyun turned his back to Jimin, putting the last of his things in his bag. Jimin eyed him from his bed. "Will you sleep in my bed tonight?" Jimin asked hesitantly. He was already dreading the fact that his brother had to leave in the morning and he wanted to hold onto him for a little longer
Jihyun turned around and smiled. "Of course."
Jihyun joined Jimin under the duvet and laid down next to him. Jimin turned off the lamp on his bedside table and the room fell into darkness, only the light from the streetlamp outside preventing the room from turning totally black.
Jimin soon closed his eyes and felt sleep crawling closer.
"Jimin?"
"Mmh." Jimin replied snuggling a bit closer to his brother.
"Dad called."
Jimin opened his eyes to find Jihyun already looking at him. The blonde boy's mouth opened and closed a few times, not being getting any words out. His father had called. His father. The man who had walked out on him and the rest of his family almost 20 years ago, the man who hadn't as much as sent a birthday card since had suddenly called? This didn't make any sense.
"What- when?" Jimin finally managed to say.
"The week after you left to go back to Seoul." Jihyun said, his voice now quiet.
"What did he want?" Jimin couldn't help the bitter tone in his voice, he had no affection for the man.
"He wants to see us." Jihyun said hesitantly.
Jimin scoffed. "Really? Now? He thinks he can just saunter back into our lives after pretending like we didn't exist for the last 20 years? I don't think so.
Jihyun was quiet for a second before he spoke. "He's dying
Jimin."
Silence fell over the two brothers as Jimin tried to process what Jihyun had said. His father was dying. He shouldn't feel upset, he didn't care about the man whatsoever, so this new information shouldn't affect him at all. But there was something within him, a small part of him that still felt sad hearing the man's fate.
"What- uhm, what does he have?"
"Cancer, he's only got a few months."
Jimin nodded and looked at his brother's face illuminated slightly by the light from the streetlamp outside. His father had hurt him and his mother a lot by leaving, he had hurt Jihyun as well but the boy was only three when he left.
Jimin stopped caring about his father years ago, but Jihyun had never lost hope that he might come back one day, that one day he would have a father again. Letting the man back into their life only gave him an opportunity to hurt them all over again and Jihyun would undoubtedly be hit the worst. Jimin didn't want Jihyun to go through the pain that he had gone through.
"Do you remember him?" Jimin asked.
"Sometimes I think I do, but the memories are faint, like fog on a window, I can never get a clear picture of him in my head." Jihyun looked down at his hand resting between him and his brother on the bed. "Do you?"
"I do." Jimin replied taking a deep breath before continuing. "I remember how he used to make me pancakes for breakfast on the weekends, how he would take me to the park next to that old school a few blocks from our house, how he would show me pictures of kittens when I was sad."
Jihyun smiled, but his face soon fell when Jimin pressed on.
"I also remember the look on mum's face every time he would refuse to go with us to the hospital, how he couldn't look at me for days after I'd come back, and what he wrote on the note he left on the kitchen table the night he walked out on us."
Jihyun was quiet, it looked like he was thinking about what to say next. He looked back up at Jimin and opened his mouth. "I know he's made a lot of mistakes," Jimin snorted at that, but his brother continued. "but maybe he wants to make amends, maybe he regrets it."
Jimin studied his brothers face. He admired how Jihyun saw so much good in the world, how he blindly trusted people. Jimin was the total opposite, he didn't trust people easily and he didn't know if he could ever bring himself to look his father in the eyes again, afraid the only thing he would find would be hurt.
"Do you want to see him?" Jimin asked.
"I don't know, maybe?" Jihyun looked at Jimin for a second before he added. "Would you resent me if I did?" Jimin furrowed his brows. "What? Of course not, I could never resent you. I'm just worried you'll get hurt."
Jihyun nodded. "I don't want to get hurt either," He hesitated for a second. "but maybe it's worth the risk."
"I can't stop you from going," Jimin put his hand over his brother's. "but if you decide to go just promise me you won't go alone. Take Sohee or one of your friends, just don't go alone."
Jihyun nodded. "Okay, I promise."
Jimin knew he couldn't stop Jihyun from going, but he wasn't going to subject himself to the pain seeing his father would undoubtedly cause. He soon made himself forget about his father. He tucked the thoughts of the man back into the little box in his mind that held all his memories of his father. This wasn't going to affect him. He would pretend like he hadn't heard the news at all.
Jimin observed his body reflected in the mirror hanging on his closet. His hands traced his ribs, he could swear they hadn't been sticking out this much a few weeks ago. His eyes wandered over his prominent collarbones and his bony shoulders, maybe he'd lost more weight than he'd thought. A lot of other things had occupied his mind the last few weeks, he might have been a bit careless with his eating habits, that would explain the state of his body. But maybe he'd lost a bit too much weight, a bit more than was normal.
He quickly shrugged the thought from his mind. No, this was nothing out of the ordinary. He'd just make sure to be a bit more thorough with what he was eating. There was no need to worry.
Jimin threw on a sweater and walked over to his bed picking up 'Frankenstein' by Mary Shelley intending to finish the book since he only had a few pages left. His attention was however diverted by his phone lighting up with a text from Jungkook. He smiled and opened the message.
Jungkook
Want to come over? I'm making cookies :)
Jimin
I'll be there in 20.
He locked his phone and pocketed it while grabbing his jacket and started walking towards the door. While he had thoroughly enjoyed his weekend with his brother and he'd been sad to see him get on the train back to Busan, he had missed Jungkook. He hadn't seen the boy since his birthday and he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in his company.
Jimin was soon sitting at Jungkook's kitchen table chewing on his second cookie.
"How are you this good at baking?" He gave the brown-haired boy sitting across from him a nudge with his foot under the table. "This isn't fair to the rest of the human species."
Jungkook laughed and he looked a little embarrassed. "I'm not that good, I can't make any of the complicated stuff."
"Everything I've tasted so far has been amazing. I can't believe you haven't baked for us once in the last year." Jimin pointed at Jungkook with the half-eaten cookie in his hand.
"You've been holding out on us."
Jungkook let out a small laugh and ran a hand through his hair making the brown locks bounce against his forehead.