The Slytherin Who Slithered In [Satire]

If You Don't Stop I'll Huffle-n-Puff-le Your House Down

Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre lay staring at the ceiling of her dorm, thinking about their encounter. Her roommate, Hermione Granger entered their dorm.

"What's got you smiling like that?" Hermione asked with a shit eating grin.

Suddenly, reality struck her, and she thought about what she was doing. They were enemies. And besides, they could never be together; he was an impossibility. Nothing but a fantasy and a pretty face.

Hermione left to shower, realising that Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre was too distracted to carry a conversation.

Silence.

A knock on her door. It was Draco, carrying a bowl of...soup?

"Hi bludgy" he said sounding a little shakier than usual. She wished he would drop the bludgy thing. So what she got hit by a bludger, she could not get a moments peace.

"I didn't make it," he blurted out. "The house elves did."

"Oh um- Hi D-Draco-"

He tentatively handed the soup over, left hand shaking slightly. When it reached her hands, he brushed over her fingertips and she felt sparks.

He fled before she had the chance to speak. She stood there, too confused to speak, clutching the soup to her chest.

She pulled herself together and slowly walked back to the bed. Hermione walked in, towelling her hair, Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre didn't realise that much time had passed.

"What was all that about?" Hermione questioned while her damp brunette hair lay at her shoulders.

"What- what are you talking about?"

"There was noise and now you have soup..." Hermione trailed off, obviously confused.

Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre thought on her feet. "The... The house elves dropped it off." She mentally congratulated herself on a great save. She might be a good keeper after all.

"They aren't slaves you know," Hermione said, always keen to stick up for the house elves. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre remembered the countless times Hermione had offered her a S.P.E.W. badge.

"Whatever," Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre said, eager to get to bed and end Hermione's seemingly endless questioning.

She did like Hermione, she did. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre was just tired and she would make it up to Hermione tomorrow.

Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre took out her messy bun and got ready for bed, thinking about what had happened that day before she slipped into sleep's warm embrace.

___________
The chapters are going to be really short btw
yeah um most of the titles are going to be puns from now
co-author: agentdoubleoo1