The Slytherin Who Slithered In [Satire]

Raven-Claw-ing Your Way Out Of Trouble: A Guide by Yours Truly (part 2)

Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre had avoided Draco for the time being. When Draco was angry, he was angry for extended periods of time and would go out of his way to get revenge.

Unfortunately for Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre, this time was no exception.

As Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre retired to her bed that night, she found a sealed envelope on her pillow. She looked around. The dorm was near empty.

'Snape's classroom. Come alone before period one.'

"Or else what?" Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre murmured to herself sassily.

The handwriting was beyond unrecognisable - it was barely legible and appeared to have been scribbled in haste. The slip of parchment crinkled as Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre put it back into the envelope. She considered for a moment throwing it out one of the dorm windows.

But... deep down, she itched to go and see what was waiting for her. Plus, what type of Gryffindor would Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre be if she cowered away from a measly challenge like that? How bad could it be?

With a mind set in stone, Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre woke up in the morning before everybody else and left quietly, carrying nothing but her wand with her; but not before brushing her silky luscious long blond hair and pulling it into a messy bun. She headed down to the dungeons, passing by the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

Her now blood-red eyes lingered on the entrance upon recounting Draco's malfeasance.

"I'll show you. Just you wait."
(i'm cringing so hard right now but it's a satire fic so there's gotta be some lines that do that to you)

The door to Snape's classroom opened with a creak. The interior was almost pitch black, and before Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre could cast Lumos, the door slammed shut behind her.

"H-Hey! Let me out of here!" She banged on the door but the spruce did not budge. She swore she heard a man laughing distantly and fade away. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre's eyes had turned a light green, fear finally getting in the way of rationality.

"Lumos," she whispered. "...Oh, shit..."

There were snakes everywhere. On each desk, on the chairs, on the floor - hell, there were some hanging from the lights and floating candles above Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre. She stumbled backwards as a snake dropped down, her back hitting the door.

"Alohomora!" Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre cast the charm in a last ditch effort. It didn't do anything. It was only then did Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre realise that the door was not locked - it was being barricaded by something on the other side.

"S-stay away from me!" she shrieked as the snakes slithered closer and closer. This had gone too far - she was going to die here!

"I-I'm the heir of Slytherin!" she lied desperately.

The snakes froze. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre used the opportunity, and said through gritted teeth, "I command you to step aside."

The snakes retreated. Did the snakes actually understand her?

"Who...who sent you here?"

"A Malfoy..." one hissed. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre ogled. Not only did she order a bunch of snakes around, but she could understand them too?

And Draco? Of course it was Draco. It would have been a death trap if Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre hadn't been able to speak Parseltongue. Was this...something she had inherited?

Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre had known that this was the case for her bloodline, but she had found herself unable to communicate with snakes in the past. So why now?

Light spilled into the room when the dungeon door opened. Behind it was Draco's face, paler than pale and in utter shock.

"Nox." Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre extinguished her wand's light.

"You... You can speak Parseltongue?" Draco said, flabbergasted. "That's...You're a dark wizard!"

He turned and bolted before Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre could explain away her situation.

And the rest was history.

_______

hey guys, hope you had a nice week, this ones a bit shorter because of where we cut it off but it should be good none the less.
cant believe none of you commented for the gay plot twist, im massively disappointed.
we have the next two chapters planned (one in two parts and when i get a chance i will write the next one)
hopefully drafting in some other writers to help with the overly straight scenes bc theres onky so much your fruitbowl authors can do when writing about mens abs.
anyway,
have a nice week!