The Slytherin Who Slithered In [Satire]

He's a narcissa-ist

just a short chapter today bc we have actual exams we should be studying for instead of shit like this

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Elsie Ebony Raven Midnight Liddre blinked. Then blinked again. She turned her head. She appeared to be in a tiled room. All the tiles were white, and she couldn't see anything else. She wondered if she stayed in here for 24 hours whether mr beast would pop out telling she won a million dollars. This did seem akin to those challenges, perhaps a few days in here and she would lose her mind.

This was super confusing. She could feel the humidity of the room, as if a giant was breathing on her. She could feel the moisture all around her. She felt a little faint. It was super warm, she felt a bead of sweat run down her neck. Well that simply won't do. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre does not sweat. She glistens.

Her feet were bare, and she could feel the smooth surface of the tiles against her moist toes.

She was slightly preoccupied by holding up the small towel around herself. Thank god she shaved her legs. This would be so uncomfortable if her legs were all spiky. Everyone liked pineapple, but no one wanted the texture replicated. 

She takes a few steps forward. She congratulated herself on her bravery. She was a Griffindor for a reason.

She stopped suddenly. She saw a flash of blond hair. But not just any blond hair. The blond hair that haunts her every time she closes her eyes. The type of blond that must be fake. Nothing natural is ever that beautiful.

Her eyes travelled down. Draco, it appears, was also only in a towel. Artfully arranged around his waist, it gave a magnificent view. Her faintness from earlier only increased as her eyes travelled back up, raking up his body.

Draco, it seems, between his clothes, was absolutely shredded. His abs made a six pack look unfit. He has the side abs. He could probably tense them in a myriad of different ways. Like that youtuber.

He must spend hours in the gym, must spend hundreds on protein powder. It was a good thing his family was rich.

His arm, which was currently raking through his dripping hair, was toned. Her eyes drank in more of his deliciously carved body.

He was looking up, as if looking dramatically at a camera. His entire body was moist. It seems she had met her glistening match.

Her entire life she had had to come to terms with the fact that anyone she dated she would be settling for, but here, here was a man on her level.

It was clear he had just got out of the shower, that's what the humidity was. Elsie Ebony Midnight Raven Liddre should be a Ravenclaw with these detective skills.

She continued to stare, drinking in his lucious body. His pale skin glowed in the light.

His face looked like he was constantly mewwing, his cheekbones higher than the empire state building.

He finally seemed to notice her. Their eyes met. And she felt herself sway. She desperately needed a cold glass of water. But all she wanted? was him.

He opened his mouth and carefully spoke:
"Would you like to join-" as one hand moved towards the towel and the other moved to turn the shower behind him back on.

——-

Elsie Ebony Raven Midnight Liddre blinked her eyes open. Well that was a new one. It seems Draco wasn't the only damp one.