Arohan - The Ascent

The Hide & Seek of Life

10 Days Later

The blinding light was white, all around. It felt surreal for a second, like swinging in a zone, a dimension between life and death. The serenity of the white light all around was too lovely to let go. He felt a tap as if someone was patting a balloon filled with water."No... leave me alone. Let me be," is what he wanted to say.

Instead, all he managed were some incoherent sounds.

This time, the slap had a sting to it. His eyes, which felt like they had been stitched together, flew open, and the blinding light, stung his eyes. He closed them tight yet again as he gasped a short burst of air at the effort.

"Vikram!" he heard a strong, loud voice. It was strangely familiar.

When Vikram finally opened his eyes, almost a month after the incident, he was surrounded by familiar faces. Among them, very of course his senior officer, but also his mom & dad.

He wanted to ask where he was, but his throat was dry. It almost felt like he had forgotten how to form words in his mouth.

Vikram drew in a deep breath, right up to the edges of his lungs. Now his eyes had gotten used to the light in the room and he could look clearly at those around him. His eyes swam across the room, and some familiar and a few unfamiliar faces appeared in his vision. But the one face he longed to see, eluded him.

Vikram tried to sit up and was helped by the nursing staff. 

A doctor came over and checked his pupils with a small flashlight. A nurse attached the BP monitor to his upper arm and measured his BP. The doctor looked satisfied with the readings. "Maybe we keep him in today for observation and he can go home tomorrow. He is fine now," declared the doctor.

"Oh is it?" stated Balram, "We were hoping to take him home today. It's a very expensive hospital," he stared somewhat apprehensively.

"Don't worry, you don't have to pay anything. We received a check from the lady looking after him until you came," smiled the doctor and went away.

"She is not a lady, she is a goddess," said Renuka. 

The officer came up to Vikram now, "how are you feeling now Vikram, All ready to come back?" he asked, with a stern look on his face.

Balram & Renuka looked worriedly, as to what Vikram might say.

"Where is she?" asked Vikram, his voice sounding like it had been completely hallowed out.

"She was here until a while ago, I don't know where she went suddenly," said Renuka looking around her.

Vikram closed his eyes shut tight. She had come, she had cared for him. But the minute he had regained consciousness, she did not even want to see him. On the bedside, his palm began to ball into fists. It was not enough. What he had endured was not enough to move her yet.

It was not enough to atone for his sin.

Vikram opened his eyes wide, forcing his tears to stop at the brim of his eyes. The tears he would not shed, instead, he would use the tears to fuel his rage. The rage he needed to push ahead. He would not give up. Not now. Not when he had come so far.

His body was broken, his heart was wounded, and his mind was numb but his spirit was unscathed.

Yes, he could have thought that this moment held a silver lining for him. she came, was with him, and nursed him. But no. He did not see it so. To him, it was a bitter rejection. 

She cared for him when he was no more than a vegetable. But the minute he regained his consciousness, she had left him. It told him, that she had far from forgiven him. His wound to her ran so deep, that his injuries were insufficient to invoke any feelings for him, in her heart. 

"I am ready Sir," hissed Vikram, forcing as much air as he could through his chest. 

"Vikram..." Renuka, embraced her son, even as he lay on the hospital bed.

"Don't worry ma... Nothing will happen to me. Trust me. Your son will not fall," he said, his eyes wide, his fist clenched hard and his voice so strained, that it sounded like it would break if he spoke one more syllable.

Outside the ward, Urvashi, stood, her back hugging the hospital wall, hearing everything that went on in the room.

Only pandit ji, that she had been caring for Vikram. For Urvashi money was never a problem. She had fought with herself. On the one hand was hatred for him and on the other her compassion as a human being. She told herself, she did what she did, as a human. She would have done the same for any other human being, she told herself.

Now, listening to Vikram, declare that he was going to jump back into the cauldron of danger, her heart lurched with an unknown fear. What If...? The question loomed large in her mind. She did not want to think beyond the what if.

Urvashi wanted to take one last look at him before she left. She had the urge to take a peek into the room, which was to her right-hand side. That's when she caught herself. What was doing? What was she thinking? Had she lost her mind? Urvashi's hands automatically went up to cover her face.

She could not stay here anymore. She ran down the corridor of the 5th floor of the VIP ward in Santom Hospital, blindly, as fast as she could, just to put some distance between what she had just discovered and herself. Could it be that the damage had already been done?