Arohan - The Ascent

Timorousness

"Hey Vicky... what the hell are you doing here...." Minku yelled his name as he found his friend lost in his world, starring at a computer in the new cyber cafe... "Wow what are you watching man... hot babes?" he asked coming in curiously. When he saw the screen with random questions and a dull, black and white page, he looked at Vicky as if he had seen the unseeable. "What the hell is this?" What are you trying to do and then he saw the header of the page.

"APPLICATION FOR THE POST OF CONSTABLE - BORDER SECURITY FORCE"

Minku looked from the screen towards Vicky, back at the screen , back at Vicky again and laughed out loud, uncontrollably. He was clutching his stomach unable to take the ache that surrounded his intestines . All that was left to do was to roll on the floor and laugh his guts out. "You jerk... you think you can join the army... what are you stupid... you just came back from jail... for raping a woman... and now he wants to join the army... and do what? Become Rambo...hahahaha" he laughed for a few more seconds and then his face turned serious.

He came and crouched near Vicky, who was blankly staring at the screen in front of him. "Oh... hero... you think if you join the army you have a chance with that Teacher, is that what it is?" he asked observing Vicky closely. That is when he looked from the screen towards Minku... the desperation in his eyes, needing no words. The laughter completely wiped off Minku's face and his eyes turned grave. "You are completely out of you mind," he said and caught Vicky by his hand and took him back to their lodge.

Vicky's Den

"You have your head completely muddled by that woman... it's almost as if she has cast a spell on you... and your obsession with her seems to be increasing day by day... what else should I call this madness," Sonu was ranting.

"I am just trying to become a better man... a man she could love," said Vicky, squatting on a cushiony bean bag, his head studying the pattens on the chessboard tiles of the floor.

"How Vicky?" questioned Jai. "You are criminal as far as society is concerned yaar. Who the hell will take you into the army? It's a no brainer... the only thing you can do, is relocate to another city and try and get ...I don't know what job you could get... or you know the best thing to do is come to Thakur Ji... fall at his feet and beg him to take you back. He may be rough but he practically raised us.. I am sure he will find a way..." suggested jai, grabbing Vicky's hand.

Vicky's head shot up to look at Jai. "I have this fire in my chest ...do you even understand.... It's eating me away... that day when I offered her my hand and she jumped off that building...." Vicky looked away, cracks appearing in his sold voice. "She chose death over sleeping with me..." he turned back and looked Jai in the eyes. His eyes reeked of the pain he was experiencing on the inside and Jai could not look away from the pain that was etched in them. " Do you know how that feels after months fo rejection... when the person you love chooses death over you... that is the ultimate rejection you can face. I am such a low life that the woman I love rather die than have me even touch her... that day... I felt worse than an insect. You should have seen the hatred for me in her eyes, when I went to see her at the hospital." Minku and Sonu came by and sat down to listen to Vicky's anguished explanation. "She told me..." and the tears dropped from his eyes. Jai, Minku and Sonu, sat shocked at what had become of Vicky . "She told me... that if she had a weapon in her hands... she would have gladly killed me... Is it so easy to take a man's life? You and I, we have never been able to do it, but she was prepared to do it that night. And it kills me to know she thinks so lowly of me, that I am so insignificant for her.. that my existence doesn't even matter to her. I can't bear that thought, it's killing me, slowly but surely," he said, rubbing his eyes with his palm and exhaling deeply.