Arohan - The Ascent

Arohan-The Ascent - Prologue

In a family where girls are treated like commodities, with no rights to feel or think for themselves, I am the third among five children. As you may have guessed, we are four sisters and one brother. If not for my brother, God knows how many more pregnancies my mother would have had to endure.

I was always treated differently from my siblings. I was always marked for the harshest beatings by my father and the choicest abuses by my mother, for being the rebel of the family. A rebel I was because I wanted an education. Books... they were my windows to the world at large, a world I wasn't allowed to think about. I went to school despite my father refusing to pay the fees. I would threaten the teachers with dire consequences if they did not allow me into class. You can imagine the terror my father commanded if I, a mere 7-year-old, could bully my way into school.

I somehow bulldozed my way to graduate education. A full-time college course was completely ruled out. So, I stole money from my father, sold my jewels, and completed graduation through correspondence. Of course, I got beaten and starved for going against family traditions, but it was worth it. As with all my sisters, my parents felt it was time for me to be sent away to fulfill my life's purpose: to serve another man like my father and search for an Ishwar in him.

I ran away from home, going to my maternal uncle's house in Delhi, and begged him to save me from certain doom. The childless man took pity on me and helped me get admission into a university in the US for a Master's in History. What he did not tell me then, and what I found out much later in life, was that my mother had paid him money to pay for my education. "What we would spend on your slavery, I spent on your freedom," she would tell me much later.

Do you know how it feels when dreams that have burned in your eyes since you can remember to take wings? Do you know how it feels when the impossible is happening to you? If your answer is no, you have never experienced life. That day, sitting in the Air India flight to New York, I could barely control my tears. My heart was pounding like I would die the next moment, and I felt as if it was I that was flying, spreading my wings, high up in the sky of my ambitions. For the first time in my life, I believed in miracles and God.

I will never be able to describe my feelings when I landed in New York and stepped out into the land where dreams and opportunities are waiting for you to touch down. I closed my eyes, breathing the air of freedom for the first time in my life. My life was here; this was home, and I could feel the rush pulsating through my veins. I felt like Xena, like I had conquered the world.

That's when I saw him for the first time. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life. His name was Tim – Timothy Jenkins, gloriously blonde, tall, athletic. He was the student coordinator and was here to help me get to the university. Usually, someone from your home country comes to pick you up, but he explained he was substituting for the guy who was supposed to come, as he had fallen sick. I did not mind at all. As he put me up in his second-hand BMW, I was on an all-time high in my life.

Over the next few weeks, the enormity of what I had got myself into hit me hard. I was in a foreign land, with nobody to turn to for help. To multiply my problems, my English was poor, my accent difficult to understand, and the culture was alien to me. I became quiet, more withdrawn, keeping to myself, rarely talking to anyone in my class, a loner.

One day, as I sat back in class, all by myself, trying to comprehend how my dream had turned sour so soon, Tim walked up to me. He told me he had been watching me over the last few days and thought I needed to make friends. He asked me to go out with him and some other friends. I agreed hesitantly, having heard horror stories of how boys could spike your drink and do bad things to you. He assured me other girls were coming along too. I am glad I took up his offer. It was destiny, I am convinced now. There was no looking back after that. Tim and I went out quite regularly. Soon, we both knew, and so did the entire campus, that this was more than just friendship.

Coming from diverse cultures, the initial days were quite awkward, as we both did not understand each other. But once that phase passed, we began to respect each other and the choices we made. Well into the third semester, Tim and I were inseparable. He offered for me to move into his place. I was very sure this was the guy I wanted to marry, and I had no intentions of going back home. So, I moved in with Tim. He taught me to love, he taught me not to judge things I didn't understand, and above all else, he taught me to like myself. Through his eyes, my assessment of myself improved, as did my self-esteem.

But one incident changed my life forever. In hindsight, if that event had not happened, I would not be who I am today. But at that moment in my life, I was shattered, completely and utterly shattered. It was all over the news in the US and the rest of the world. We were in Orlando that night on Christmas Eve, a few good friends, partying the night away. Tim had proposed marriage to me, and I was on cloud nine, and then it was all over. An unknown man opened fire randomly, and Tim was fatally wounded, never to recover again. He ensured that I hid behind the bar and got shot as he tried to protect me.

I don't have much recollection of how the next few days passed. But I picked myself up slowly, trying to write my papers as I wept and trying to eat my food as I sobbed. I had to do it for Tim. He would have wanted me to finish my Master's and make something of my life. His soul would not rest in peace if I did not take care of myself. So, I ate, drank, and did all the things a human being does. But on the inside, I was dead too. I was merely going through the motions of life.

I couldn't bear to live in that city or in that house anymore, haunted by memories of all the good times I spent with Tim. I decided to run away once again, this time back to my country. Going back home was not an option, and neither was I prepared for the rigors of corporate life. So, I searched for the most non-descript jobs. I applied for a government teacher's job in UP and Rajasthan and got selected for UP. I was posted in a place called Padrauna in northeastern UP. And I decided to move there, bag and baggage, with a new identity, a new goal, and zero expectations from life.

But then, this thing called life is a strange mix of surprises and shocks. It beats you down to the dumps and then gives you a hand to raise you to unimaginable peaks. I am Urvashi Vikram Singh. This is my story and the story of my love.

AROHAN – THE ASCENT – It takes a woman to mold stone into a man.