Rusty

- Chapter 30 -

Desirae

If I get fucking injured today I'm going to be pissed. I'm fucking rusty as shit right now. Sorry, language I know. I'm trying my hardest to get injured, even though Celia is in rentals she's skating better then me. Now that, is embarrassing. She hasn't fallen once, me? Constantly.

"Need help there." She laughs, helping me to my feet. Again. "I don't know what's happened." I sigh, brushing the extra ice off my leggings.

"You just need time." She tells me, she said she couldn't fucking skate. Where's the inspiration speech come from. "Yeah, whatever." I roll my eyes at her while smiling uncontrollably.

"Y'know I'm so glad his team have a private rink for training, because if it was anything like it was at home. He'd be bursting out with laughter right now."

I think my problem is, I keep getting cocky. I try spinning, jumping all of it, then I fall. I can skate, it's anything, literally anything else. Going backwards? Nope. That one shocked me.

"Please, I'd pay to see that." Of course you would. 

"Sorry to change the topic, but how'd your talk go?" Her face changes immediately, I asked her yesterday before she went to sleep but she brushed me off. "He's not annoyed at me for leaving, he didn't want me to think he'd push me away. He did say he wanted me to tell him about that stuff though, which I get."

For a guy who doesn't want kids, he's doing okay. "Did he say anything about the baby in particular?" She shrugs, "He was blunt about it, he's not happy. He doesn't want it, but he knows I do so we're going to go through with it and see where it goes."

Well shit, I take it back.

"Oh." Why is the rink always the place for deep discussions. "Hm, that's what I said. He said we'd talk properly when I decide to come home." Her tone drops into a serious one, almost to mimic him. "He said it in that tone too."

"You'll be fine Celia, I promise." I can't promise that, surely. "I hope so."

"Hey, look who it is!" You've got to be fucking kidding me, I wave at Jax who's sat on the side of the rink on his phone. He notices me and smiles back. If I fucking fall now.

"I wanna try spin or something." I tell Celia, she has a nervous look on her face. Which clearly matches the one in my head. I won't show it though I refuse.

Actually I wanna do a double axel, am I crazy? Probably. Will I regret it? If I fall I will.

"Hold on give me a sec." I try to make some space, this rink is a little crowded, but right in the middle is a free spot where no one really goes. That'll do.

I take one last deep breath before starting it, the minute I start spinning I drop to the ice like a ton of bricks. But oh my Lord does my leg ache, like I can't move it ache.

I look over to Celia, she's laughing at first but the minute she realises I can't move she stops and drops to my side instantly.

"Des? Are you okay." I'm crying, I'm actually crying. My leg is in agony. Jax hasn't noticed yet, I don't think anyway. "Hold on let me get help." Don't leave me. I nod at her anyway, I try to move but I can't I just hurt everywhere.

People have noticed, the skate straight past though, I don't blame them to be honest. They pay for ice time, not to help a random girl off the floor. 

"Desi? Desi?" I look up at Jax, he's not got skates on. Which is weird he always has skates on the ice, obviously. I'm really loosing my mind right now.

I can't respond, I think I'm going into shock. That's dramatic, but I actually cannot respond. It shows on his face, he looks distraught. Celia is behind him, making sure he doesn't slide around.

Then it all goes black.

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I hear the faint sound of beeping, sounds like a fucking McDonald's drive thru. But it's not, when I open my eyes I know where I am. I'm in hospital again. I start crying immediately, I do not want to be here. But really who does.

But he's here, he's here this time. Holding my hand while pressing his lips to my knuckles. It should have been like this the first time. "Don't cry, baby." He whispers, he's got heavy dark circles under his eyes. It looks like he's been awake for hours.

"How long?" I ask him, he looks relieved at first but his expression changes. "10 hours, nearing 11." 

"How long have you been here?"

"The whole time." I fucking love him. "Baby, you didn't have to."

He tilts his head and rests his other hand on my forehead, not letting go of my hand. "I wouldn't have been able to sleep without you there." We're so screwed next week.

"I'm so sorry, Jax." I whisper, trying to keep my composure, I don't know why I'm already crying. "Don't apologise for anything baby, please."

I think this proves everything, I've ever known. He is my person, he is the love of my life. He always has been. I do not regret going back to him. I don't regret saying yes to marrying him.

Now, I'd happily marry him tomorrow. Whether my family approves or not, I couldn't give a shit.

"Do my family know?" I ask him, I don't know why. Quite frankly I don't even know if they would answer the phone. "I didn't know what to do, I didn't know if you'd want that."

"You did the right thing, don't worry." I mean lets put it this way, they didn't know I was in the hospital the last time, I didn't want to tell them. They we're already disappointed that the man I 'abandoned' them for left me, I didn't even get to the part I was pregnant.

I've broken my leg though, I guess they don't compare, huh?

"Do you want me to get you a nurse? Do you need anything?"

"No, I just want your company right now." I tell him, patting a space next to me on the bed. It's tight but I've never felt more safe.

This is perfect, all of it.

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"What do you mean your in hospital?"

"I've broken my leg, nothing major. Don't worry."

I didn't want to speak to her at first, I didn't think she'd care. Let's be honest why should she? Last time we spoke my boyfriend was shouting at her for being an asshole. Mainly because she is.

"That is major, Desirae."

"I really don't think it is. I'm on painkillers, it's not even that bad." I hear her scoff down the line, "If you're on painkillers, it's bad."

"Don't worry about it, okay? I'll be out soon anyways."

"Desirae, you are my daughter. I'm coming over." Fuck me. "You don't have to." I really don't want her lecture, that's what I'll get. We tried it in New Jersey, at the competition. It went shit. I can't do it again.

"You don't even know where we live."

"You need to turn your location off." Of course. Why the fuck didn't I block her before this?

"Hm, it's off now."

"I didn't mean now. Anyways, I know you live in Toronto, it's all over Jax's Instagram apparently." My cousins, such snitches. Never heard the fucking phrase snitches get stitches apparently. "Let me guess, Ella?"

"I won't tell."

It definitely was.

"I'll be there in two days." Then she ends the call. 

This is going to go so well.

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Wow, chapter 30.

Honestly, I have never written a book this long. So that's an achievement for me. Anyways, what we thinking about Desirae's Mom rn? I'm trying to write about her but it's hard ig?

Anyways, happy friday!

-Cami <3