We were driving back to my house now. The sexual tension between me and Matty consumed the air. We'd ended up leaving it on the 'friends' term. Though Matty's smirk at the phrase may suggest other wise.
The only light in the car came from the dashboard, lighting up his face in a soft red glow.
We pulled up to my Family house slowly. Matty turned and looked at me solemnly, which tugged at my heart. This day had been so unexpected, but beautiful none the less.
"This is where we depart Matthew" I joked, grabbing my stuff from the back seat. He smiled sadly, "Will I see you again?"
His voice breaking the night time quiet.
"If you want too?" He nodded eagerly.
"Well then I'm here as long as you need me" I smiled. Maybe me and Matty could have a nice friendship.
"I do, need you.." Matty pressed his lips to mine desperately. I relished every second, every feeling. I edged away and climbed out of the car as graciously as possible. Not exactly the friendly bear hug I was hoping for, but who was I to complain.
If nothing else, Matty could be a series of stunning memories that I could always hold onto.
The house was quiet, the lights were all off. I longed for the warmth of Matty's flat as I climbed the stairs slowly.
My Sister's room was in the loft, I could see the light bleeding from her door but I didn't go up. I couldn't be dealing with her questions tonight. Mum was out I assumed. My mum worked in Canary Whalf in the City. She was always busy, always out. I didn't blame her, we were adults now.
Lying on my bed I finally relaxed, my fairy lights above me. This morning felt like days ago. Yet here my room remains; same romeo & Juliet movie poster, dreamcatcher, books stacked against the wall. So why did I feel so different?
I dreamed of Matty. My dreams are blurred and weird usually. But his eyes I was sure off.
Sitting in the Library on Monday felt wrong. I'd had a busy Weekend working, school had rolled around in a blink of an eye. I'd always felt older than my age, meeting Matty just proving my theory. Everyone around me worrying about A- Levels and who's going to the pub on the hill later. I just didn't care! Ruby glanced at my blank page from across the table.
"You alright?"
I exhaled, I hadn't told Ruby yet and it was killing me.
"Just bored of this, you know?" This being History, but really my whole life.
"Not long left now Mol, don't give up" she smiled at me warmly. I wanted to tell Ruby everything, but I didn't.
It's kind of like when I got my interview for my part-time job. Everyone told me I couldn't work in the city. But I'd applied to a little record store anyway. When I got an interview I didn't even tell my Mum. I didn't want people to know that I had my hopes up, in case I was let down.
Maybe me not telling Ruby showed I really cared, why I was keeping it to myself. Him, to myself.
"What you doing on Saturday?" She asked a pen in her mouth.
"Working, course" Ruby nodded slowly like we hadn't had this discussion millions of times.
"We're going out in Brick lane on Saturday, you could join after work?" Ruby didn't look all too eager, I smiled knowing she had a distaste for east London.
"Don't look too excited!" I warned her.
She rolled her eyes at me in her signature way.
"Urgh, it's just that Lara invited Joe so I'm gonna be third wheeling- again.."
She groaned and I couldn't help but giggle. "Is it third wheeling if their not together though?"
"They are together!!!" I giggled and hushed her as girls turned to glare at us. "They are just too scared to say!" She whispered frustrated.
"So you want me there becauseeee?"
"Because they're a couple and I'm on my own!" She whined, shaking my arm desperately. I laughed and shook her off. "So you want me to be your lesbian lover?" I joked. Ruby raised her eye brow suggestively "Well.." We both burst out laughing. Around Ruby I could just be a stupid weirdo and it was fine. Real friendship.
On Saturday I woke up to the sound of my Sister arguing with my Mum. "Where are my tights!!" She exclaimed, I buried my face in my pillow. Flo was always loosing things, and then blaming everyone else for it. It was truly exhausting. "MOLLYYYY!" She screamed. I felt sorry for my neighbours on a daily basis. My sister still acting like she was 4 years old.
She pulled open my door violently. "Do you have my tights?" She asked breathlessly, from all the shouting I assume. "No I don't, as I said last week" I answered monotonously. She slammed my door shut and I prayed for the comfort of my little record shop.
A couple of hours later I was standing at the till. Rough Trade was in West London, no where near where I lived but I didn't mind the travel. I loved the area and the shop was amazing. I'd worked here for a couple of years now, it felt like a second home.
I was labelling some albums when he walked in.
