Matty had showed me all his tattoo, and in great detail explained what they all meant. I'd laughed when i thought we had come to the end but then he remembered a little one tucked away. The big ones seemed to mean a lot to him, "if it's about family or flowers I don't think it's obnoxious" he'd told me. I'd sat back from exaiming his sleeve. 'I've never seen anyone who suits their tattoos more than Matty' I'd thought, feeling slightly pathetic about my little tattoo I'd been so afraid to get. I reached out a finger and touched his chest sub consciously. "This one's my favourite" I mumbled to myself. "Yeah me too" I heard him say.
I lied back on the bed, flicking my hair behind me so it splayed out across the pillow. I exhaled slowly and Matty joined me. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted him turn his head to look at me.
"Urh matty.." As today was a day of truths "Your so bloody interesting you know that. The way you are.." I was struggling to find the right words. "You just seem so figured out, your like a painting or a character in a novel."
He just chuckled and shook his head. Not believing that I'd just said that I put my hands on my stomach.
"What are you thinking?" He asked suddenly. "Urm, just that your ceiling has a lot of cracks. Did you notice that?" I turn my head to him, what a feeble attempt to change the conversation. "I haven't, come to think of it molly" he says smiling, quickly studying the ceiling.
Matty was shaking his head again."I don't understand you," he started still looking up. "Why haven't you asked anything about me? And no, not when it's about what I was already talking about." He interjected. "You just seem so content with what I want to tell you. Don't you want to know why George isn't here? Or why I'm not back at home with my family? Or I don't know, if I'm heartbroken?" Matty seemed to let the floodgates of his mind open. "Why I didn't call a cab for you last night? If I'm even fucking sane right now?" I was looking at him closely, seeing the way he breathed out heavily. He looked at me again. "Don't get me wrong. I love that you are so comfortable with who you are, where you are. I just.. I don't think I'm the person you think I am."
"Matty.." He seemed to relax at the sound of my voice. "You think I'm naive because I'm young and I see you how I do. But I know you've got stuff going on- how could I not? I don't know why you let me stay here for this long, I'm still asking myself that now. And I'm not this relaxed with everyone I meet. I'm fucking wish I was. Granted, I haven't asked you a lot because and I like to soak you up. But if you felt how I do most of the time you wouldn't want to speak out either."
I let it sit in the air for a bit. Every word of it true. It's something about the idea of being so far away from home, from everyone you know. That makes you feel so free. I didn't care what Mattys response was now. Just having the balls to say it, for me was enough.
