No Control (L.S BDSM)

•19•

Word count: 1745
This chapter was written the 18.02.2023

Harry Edward Styles:

Shattered into millions of broken pieces. Where do broken hearts go? Deep down still full of love, but it's useless when the arrival didn't get the respond it needed to be held in one piece. There is no easy answer for what to do when everything grows dark, you just have to let yourself grow, and use it to show love and understanding for others.

"Harry wait for me" Niall is yelling behind me as I'm running out of Louis's parents house. I knew I wasn't more than a submissive for him, but deep down I felt him caring and loving me in a way no one else had done before. Hearing him shout out to everyone he loves that I'm just some slut on contract for him broke me. It's not who I want to be seen as if I didn't have feelings for him I wouldn't even have tried it.

"What Niall? It's true what he says, he was never my boyfriend. He- just- you know- needed someone for a better image. Known people have PR relationships, get over it" I shout at my friend, doing the same as Louis, letting people down, the ones that deserves it the least. He stops in his tracks.

"That was very low Harry" he says and turn around walking inside the party again. I'm left alone out in the dark. I were asleep most of the ride and have no idea where the hell I really am.

"Mr. Styles? I will drive you home. Don't worry, I won't tell Mr. Tomlinson" Marco says coming up to me. There is nothing I would be less happy to do than being around someone that reminds me of Louis, but right now I have no other choice than to take his help. I can't be here on my own. I jump into his car, feeling the butt plug in my ass as I sit down in the seat. Even one more reminder of what I had, than now is way too gone. I can't keep on pretending that it's fine to be just his submissive, when he so clearly had said how little he actually cares. Why even try, when he made it clear already that the two weeks left, will mark the end? He told me he knew I need more, and I do. I need way more.

"Take care of yourself Harry, call me if you need something" Marco says as he has arrived mine and Niall's apartment, or actually just mine. Niall moved in with Liam a week ago. He told me I spend so much time at Louis's right now, that I wouldn't need him as a roomie. I told him it was fine, and I understood it, because back then I really did, but right now as I'm standing in the apartment for the first time in over a week I feel lonely. There is a few less furniture, and the couch is gone. I undress myself and get the butt plug out of my ass, a moan escaping my mouth as I pull it out. But the locked cock is something I can't do anything about, it's locked, the key in Louis's pockets. But right now, that's fine, I can't see myself wanting to be pleasured my neither anyone else nor myself from now on. I throw myself down at the floor, everything reminding me of him. The first real sobs come out and is soon replaced with a loud cry. I throw myself around on the floor for a while, throwing every vase and decoration around. The bookshelf is damaged. I find myself a bottle of Niall's vodka, he must've forgotten and drink it, not caring about the horrible taste. I take the bottle with me down on the floor and drink small sips as I hug my knees, crying out loudly. I miss him. Why can't I have him? Why doesn't anyone want me? The real me.

"Harry?" I hear the voice come into the apartment, the sound of keys in the lock. I don't know who, my eyes are blurry, and my mind wants to shut me all down.

"Harry baby" I fear it's Louis, but thankfully it's Niall using the nickname. He is taking the bottle out of my hand and giving it to Liam.

"God Harry, what have you done to yourself?" Niall asks pointing to my bloody arm.

"Not what you think- cut myself on broken plate" I truthfully managed to say. Next thing I remember is Liam cleaning the cut with some stinging thingy. Then I feel myself being lifted up and carried to my bedroom. This isn't the bedroom I want to be in, this isn't the person I want to carry me, this isn't where my home is. This is just a house, with four walls.