Sincerely

Cincere

Lee's face is red.

I won't mention that obviously, I don't want his head to explode. Though he might got that covered himself.

He squeezes the napkin in his hand and shakes his head.

"Stop fucking doing that." He says. Sharp, as usual.

"Stop doing what?"

"Smiling at me."

I blink at him. "Can you explain why?"

He looks down and breathes in, then he suddenly makes direct eye contact.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" he asks, his voice a bit smaller.

It's a valid question. Sometimes I ask that question myself. In the beginning, I wanted to hate him. I really did. But I couldn't bring myself to. It wasn't his fault for his fear of being around me. The world made him feel like that, he wasn't born that way. I hated the world for the way it is more than I could hate him. Even when Oda would wish for something bad to happen to him, or say something like "Karma will get him", or "He'll get what he deserves" I would stick up for him and say he doesn't deserve anything bad.

Because he ain't a bad guy. I know he isn't.

"Well," I start, "I think I was. For a while. But not anymore. Shits in the past, and I got over it."

"How?" he asks.

"It took time. But I couldn't hold it against you. It wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't yours either."

"It took me a while to believe that. But now I know it wasn't."

Lee fidgets with the napkin in his hand, his expression hard. I let him think, and try to think myself cause I feel like I should be too. But all I can wonder about is what's going on in that head of his. I was surprised when he actually came outside to meet me. And I was lucky enough to bump into him in the hallway to slip the note in his book instead of his locker.

Oh, wait...

"Hey, why weren't you wearing your glasses in the hallway? We're they broken?"

Lee glances at me then looks away.

"It's stupid."

"Hit me."

"No. Drop it."

"Aw, come on. I'm sure it's not that stupid." I'm pushing it, I know. But I gotta know. 

Lee rolls his eyes then sighs, "I just...didn't want to look at anyone. And I didn't want anyone to see me."

"Huh." Is a all I say.

I have to say something better than that.

I clear my throat and my leg starts bouncing up and down.

"Well, I saw you."

Lee scoffs, probably the closest thing to a laugh that I'm going to get. It still makes me feel good.

"Well you didn't see me very well, you fucking ran right into me."

I chuckle and my leg slows to a stop, "Well, maybe I ran into you on purpose." I hope he can't smell my bullshit from across the table.

"Why the fuck would you do that?"

"You wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Lee leans against the table, "I mean, I guess so."

"You ever say 'woo-hoo' about anything?" I ask, trying to follow Lee's directions to not smile.