A Guy In The Analysts Club

XL

~After a week~

INTJ got better and he started going to work again. I went back to my apartment,since I moved in with him while he was sick,to make sure nothing happens. While I was unpacking,someone knocked on my door. I went to get it and it was ESTP.

--ENFP! Where were you? (ESTP)
--In your mom's vagina. How are you? (ENFP)
--I'm currently trynna' hit on the chick you introduced me to,but she's fucking clueless! Is she a dum-dum? (ESTP)
--No,ESTP,she's just flustered. ISFJ likes you,too! (ENFP)
--Ohh yea? Das nice! Imma go now,she's at my house,we thought we could bring ya over. (ESTP)
--Sure thing! Imma come right now with y'all. (ENFP)

I left everything and went to ESTP's. When I got in I saw ISFJ looking at me.

--Hi ENFP! Are you ok? I didn't see you too often in the past couple of days. (ISFJ)
--Yea,I'm fine! How about y'all two? (ENFP)
--I don't know,I've been working on this blanket for my capybara. (ISFJ)
--So cute! (ENFP)
--Wait,you have a capybara? (ESTP)
--Yes,why? (ISFJ)
--SHE HAS A CAPYBARA,YOU'RE SO COOL! HOW IS IT NAMED? (ESTP)
--Crystal. It's a girl. (ISFJ)
--Crystal clear that you're cool. (ESTP)
--I know,right? I wanna have a capybara,too! But I wanna have another animal more. (ENFP)
--What? (ISFJ)
--A pug! I would love a pug,they're so adorable and cute and funny! I would play all day with a pug! (ENFP)
--Yea,but nothing's better than a capybara. (ESTP)
--Yep. Capybaras on top. (ENFP)
--...are you thinking what I'm thinking? (ESTP)

We syncronised and started to sing simultaneously:

--OK I PULL UP,HOP OUT AT THE AFTER PARTY! (ESTP & ENFP)

Then we laughed.

--Not gonna lie,that after party from September was lit! (ESTP)
--Yea,but I got hungover really bad. (ENFP)
--What happened at the after party? I'm curious. (ISFJ)
--Basically,we sang and danced. And got drunk. (ESTP)
--I don't remember too much,but we had fun. (ENFP)
--You should've seen how ENFP danced bro. And the best part,INTJ was staring at her the whole time! (ESTP)

Wait what?!

--Huh? What do you mean,the man readed the whole time. (ENFP)
--You think so! The man wanted to devour you! You were close to giving the poor guy a lap dance! (ESTP)

What the heck was wrong with me that night?! INTJ told me I behaved well!

--Pfft,do you even have proof or what? (ENFP)
--Check put this photo that this cutie in front of me sent! (ESTP)

He showed me a photo and oh shit,I didn't behave too well...
I was absolutely shook.

--ESTP,I SWEAR,I WAS DRUNK! (ENFP)
--This is drunk ENFP? Then I need to see her more often! (ESTP)
--No,you don't! But wait...why did INTJ have his hand on my thigh?! (ENFP)

I literally had so many questions. ESTP stayed quiet,looking at ISFJ,and they both tried to hold their laughs.

--Why did he hold me by my back like that?! (ENFP)

They stayed quiet as two mice.

--Why did he have so many drinks on the chair?! And most importantly...WHY THE HECK WAS I IN THAT POSITION?! (ENFP)

They started chuckling.

--WHY DID HE LOOK LIKE THAT?! WHY DID HE LOOK LIKE HE WAS ENJOYING IT?! (ENFP)

ESTP covered his mouth.

--DID HE DO SOMETHING TO ME?! ANSWER ME! (ENFP)

They then broke out laughing.

--ESTP,please,I'm serious! (ENFP)
--Chill out,he didn't do anything to you! At least that's what I know. (ESTP)
--INTJ lied to me! He told me I behaved well! (ENFP)

ESTP and ISFJ looked at eachother. They were both probably communicating through telepathy.

--THAT MEANS HE ENJOYED IT! (ISFJ)

She laughed again.

--YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING,GIRLIE! (ESTP)
--Yea,you behaved really well,huh? (ISFJ)
--GUYS,STOP,I'M MINDBLOWN! (ENFP)
--Think we have the reason why he went to the bathroom afterwards! (ESTP)
--HE WENT WHERE?! (ENFP)

They were wheezing,as I was dumbfounded.

--But still,why would he go to the bathroom? (ISFJ)
--TO JERK OFF,OBVIOUSLY! (ESTP)
--SHUT UP! (ENFP)

He laughed louder than ever,as I slap his head.

--Are you ok? (ISFJ)
--YES! (ESTP)

He replied,still laughing.

--ISFJ,did you take the photo?! (ENFP)
--No,ISTJ took it,I wasn't there! (ISFJ)
--Imma go confront this asshole! Now you two lovebirds stay right here. ESTP,update me on the sex! (ENFP)
--Will do! (ESTP)
--Um...go away please,I'm not ready. (ISFJ)
--Awh,ok,babygirl. (ESTP)

I got up and left to ISTJ's.

~INTJ's POV meanwhile~

I was at work and ISTJ still confronted me about the smarter than me thing.

--Say it. (ISTJ)
--I don't want to. (INTJ)
--Say it or this record is in ENFP's gallery! (ISTJ)
--Please,make me do something else,I'l even kill a man! (INTJ)
--No. I want to hear it finally. (ISTJ)
--You won't. (INTJ)
--I'm going to continue the message then. (ISTJ)
--ISTJ,please,I'll do whatever you want! Anything else than this! (INTJ)
--Confess to her. (ISTJ)
--You know what? Fine,I'll do it. (INTJ)

He sat next to me while I got my phone out.

"ENFP,I have to confess something..."

A smirk grew on ISTJ's face. This shithead really wanted to see me suffer. She immediately saw the text...I'm in deep shit.

"Like what?=//D"

Um...why the two slashes?

"I...uh..."
"You...uh...?"
"I have a real gun somewhere in my house."

Think I saved myself. ENFP would expect more the fact that I have a gun rather than the fact that I love her.

--What the heck,man?! (ISTJ)
--You told me to confess,you didn't tell me exactly what. (INTJ)
--Ok,fine,then confess your feelings. (ISTJ)
--Ok. (INTJ)

I check my phone and I see a reply from ENFP.

"YOOO THAT'S COOL AF! Can you show it to me?"

I text,ignoring her question:

"Actually I also have something else to confess...a...feeling."
"What feeling?●o●"
"I'm feeling...tired."

ISTJ looks at me,dissapointed.

--Ugh,you're so smart,aren't you? (ISTJ)
--Yes. Why did you think I didn't want to say what you wanted me to say? (INTJ)

He stares at me,really annoyed. And that's when I realised something.

--And besides,I calculated something:you said that I had to do whatever you say for the month,not a month. The month you told me that was January. Now we're in February. So that means you can't boss me around anymore! (INTJ)
--I can still blackmail you,you know? (ISTJ)
--Then it wouldn't be fair. (INTJ)
--Life isn't fair,INTJ,but we still live it. So basically I own you now,sorry. (ISTJ)

Sorry my ass,bastard.

--Do you want money? (INTJ)
--Hmm...what a marvelous idea you just gave me! (ISTJ)
--Ugh...I should've shut my mouth. How much do you want? (INTJ)
--Just kidding,I already make enough money. I don't need yours. (ISTJ)
--Then what does it take for you to fucking delete that record?! (INTJ)
--...hmm. Team up with ESFJ for his cooking show- (ISTJ)
--In absolutely no way. The shift is over,I'm out of here. (INTJ)

I took my coat and left,I hear ISTJ behind me:

--Are you sure? (ISTJ)
--Shut up,I literally don't want to hear you now. And I thought you were a little bit trustable. (INTJ)

After 10 minutes I finally got home,still not believing I was blackmailed.
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--words:1264.

<3