A Guy In The Analysts Club

XIII

I make my way into ENFP's bedroom,which was the first room to see,as if I wasn't already there 15 minutes ago.

--So what did ENFJ ha- (ENFP)
--Change the subject. (INTJ)
--Ok,why do you carry a gun?! (ENFP)
--Don't worry,it's a fake one,shooting people is pathetic. And so expected. (INTJ)
--You really got some interesting tastes,INTJ. (ENFP)
--You too. I like your perfume very much. (INTJ)
--Me too! It's bubblegum scent. I also like your minty smell. What is it called? (ENFP)

Now is she flirting with me?

--I make my own perfume,I choose to be natural. I won't give you the recipe though. (INTJ)
--How interesting! So,as I was saying,I had a sleepover at ESTP's and he with ENTP pulled this prank on me and now this won't come off! I have to wear foundation for the rest of the week! (ENFP)
--Don't. (INTJ)
--Why? I don't wanna be seen like this! (ENFP)
--Because...you are prettier without make-up. (INTJ)

Holy shit,what a lame sentence. Wait,no,I actually did great! ENFP blushed.

--Uh...t-thank you! You look quite handsome too. (ENFP)
--We were talking about make-up here,I don't wear any make-up. (INTJ)
--Oh right. Yes. Sorry. (ENFP)

We sat a couple of moments in silence before I came up with something.

--Did you eat everything? (INTJ)
--Yea,it was awesome! The texture,the taste and how all the condiments were giving the flavour together! You should team up with ESFJ for his cooking show next week! (ENFP)
--In no way and no universe I would do that. (INTJ)
--Why? (ENFP)
--Firstly,I don't like teaming up with dumb people. (INTJ)
--Hey,ESFJ is not dumb! (ENFP)
--ENFP,he is the dumbest MBTI. (INTJ)

She sat in silence,feeling stupid.

--And secondly,he is going to be filmed,and I am camera-shy. (INTJ)
--That means you have no photos of yourself in your phone? (ENFP)
--I only use my phone for communicating with INTP,for work or to get updates about stupid events. (INTJ)

And for filming you,ENFP.

--That's sad. You never take photos? Even on your birthday? (ENFP)
--My birthday is just a normal day. (INTJ)
--When is it? (ENFP)
--Wait a minute,I have to check since I forgot. (INTJ)

I opened my phone. I have a black lockscreen.

--Oi,come on,not even on your lockscreen! It's so plain and boring! Why don't you put a picture of yourself? (ENFP)
--I consider myself ugly in pictures and when I once tried to take a popular-called selfie,it came out very embarrasing. (INTJ)
--But what if you asked someone to take a picture for you? (ENFP)
--I would rather die. (INTJ)

She looks at me in dissapointment.

--Anyway,I won't tell you my birthday. When it comes,it comes. (INTJ)
--Fine,boring bastard. (ENFP)

She childishly sticks her tongue out at me.

--Ugh,fuck you. (INTJ)
--When? (ENFP)

I start to feel my cheeks get hotter and hotter.

--When you die. (INTJ)
--If you are so desperate,I shall consider commiting suicide in your bedroom. (ENFP)

As I said,wild imagination.

--You already tried and failed,loser. (INTJ)
--At least I tried while others didn't even think trying. (ENFP)
--When are you gonna mature,ENFP? (INTJ)

I questioned her with a smile.

--Ew,gross. Never! I shall stay childish! (ENFP)

I murmured to myself:

"That's how I want you,ENFP. That's how I want you."

ENFP looked at the time on her clock and said:

--It's already 5 PM! This day passed faster than lightning! (ENFP)
--Yes,but it felt like a whole week. (INTJ)
--INTJ? (ENFP)
--Yes? (INTJ)
--Can you take a selfie with me? I wanna have a memory with us. (ENFP)
--Memory of what? It's just a normal day. (INTJ)
--Everyday is a special day! Now smile! (ENFP)
--NO- (INTJ)

Too late. ENFP grabs me and rises the end of my mouth to form a half smile. She smiles at the camera and poof,it was made. I don't like photos of myself. All my gallery is full of work papers screenshots...and photos of ENFP.

--DELETE THAT. (INTJ)
--It's my phone and I do whatever I want! (ENFP)
--You have to get the other person's consent before taking a photo,and my answer is no! (INTJ)
--Well... (ENFP)

She searches through her shelves,takes out some post-it sticky notes and writes something,very focused. Then she said,handing me the note:

--According to this contract I made just now,if you sign...nevermind,just sign. (ENFP)

She then handed me a pen. On the note it was written:

"This contract made by ENFP shows that miss ENFP herself can take photos with mr. INTJ anytime she wants without mr. INTJ denying,because she thinks mr. INTJ is not ugly at all,but handsome. Anyway,ignoring the last part,if you sign,you will agree with everything written in the first sentence. If you decline,this means you do not appreciate your friendship with miss ENFP,and she will try to leave you alone.
Date:25 August 2022
Miss ENFP's signature: ENFP
Mr. INTJ's signature:_________"

--Oh,you are blackmailing me? How dare you use my own spells against me,Potter? (INTJ)
--Because I can do whatever I want. Look,I have proof! (ENFP)

She then proudly shows me another "document" of hers. It was written:

"This document made by ENFP demonstrates that I,a.k.a. miss ENFP herself,can do whatever she wants."

--You amaze me. (INTJ)
--I know right? Now sign. (ENFP)
--In this moment,you're been the most professional ever. But how about no? (INTJ)
--How about yes? (ENFP)
--Nein,danke. (INTJ)
--What in the Minecraft Enchantment Table Language is this? (ENFP)
--It's German,idiot. (INTJ)
--Anyway,sign. (ENFP)
--I said no twice. (INTJ)
--It wasn't a question,it was a demand. (ENFP)

She took my hand with all her force and forced me to sign.

--Done! Thank you for your cooperation,sir! (ENFP)
--What cooperation?! You forced me to! (INTJ)
--Force you to what? I think you're nuts in the moment,sir. Anyway,keep the document,please! (ENFP)

After saying that,ENFP sticks the note to my forehead.

--Now,I have business to do,sir. I shall escort you to the exit. (ENFP)

She leaded me to her door. Before opening it,she whispers in my ear,me being able to feel her hot breath:

--Did I do good...sir? (ENFP)

Mhh,that sir! I could feel myself blush again.

--I-I mean,you t-tried your best. Bye! (INTJ)

I slammed the door fast.
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--words:1116.

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