Keep My Blood Cool

Chapter Twenty-Six

It took a very long while for Savannah to calm down. Even when the store's worker came to retrieve the things she had accidently taken, she couldn't stop crying, to the point the worker didn't even threaten to call the police or think she actually wanted to steal anything at all.

People passed by her and stared a little, but were quick to ignore her and walk away. It was hard not to compare the situation with the countryside, as every single person who saw her like that would stop and offer her help. But in al truth, Savannah didn't really want a helping hand right now. She knew she was at fault for what happened to her. She had no right lying to her boyfriend and her closest friend there in the city. If she were honest from the beginning, none of this would have happened.

It was still hard to accept that she had lost the two most important people to her in that city. Savannah didn't really think they would ever forgive her. Penelope was just plain mad at her, disgusted even, and Romeo... She never heard him sound so hurt, except for that time back in her town when he got drunk and asked her why she hated him. But he was right. He had been the perfect boyfriend; he always supported her and even went along with her crazy going on a break idea. An what did she do in return? Pretend she wasn't dating him so her roommate didn't get mad at her. It was childish, really. She should have been upfront with Penelope from the start. She wasn't ashamed of Romeo in any way. She knew he was a good person and loved how he kept improving himself every single day.

Savannah didn't really know where to go. She was pretty sure Penelope wouldn't be at their dorm, but she didn't want to risk it. She didn't know how to face her after what happened. And it wasn't like she could go to Romeo's, either.

In all honesty, all she wanted to do right now was go back home, to the countryside. To find comfort in her father, her childhood friends, the townsfolks that saw her grow up, in the house she had lived all her house, her dog, her horse, the animals she used to take care of every day. She wished she could just go back, to the life she loved so much, where everything was so much simpler, quieter and calmer.

More than ever, she felt like she didn't belong in the city. After all that work trying to get the real "city life experience", she now realized that it wasn't about filling up some bucket list. It wasn't about the places she went to and the things she did. It was about the people she experienced all that with. The people she met, and the people she brought along the way. The people that were by her side when she was sad, happy, angry or scared.

And she had completely screwed up. Romeo was the most important person there, and she tossed him to the side because she felt like she could only truly live the college life experience without him. She should have brought him on that journey with her, just like he wanted her to be in his. She could have visited all those places, done all those things and met all those people with Romeo by her side. Being in a relationship didn't mean they had to conform; they could have pushed each other out of their comfort zones. They had done it many times before, so why did she feel like it was time to stop? Just because her mother's journal made her feel like she hadn't been living enough? Or was it because she wasn't as cool with Romeo's past as she acted out to be?

Savannah didn't regret the things she had done while she was on a break with Romeo. She was very grateful for her life in the city so far. She was also very proud of the things Romeo managed to accomplish while away from her. She just realized they didn't have to be apart for those things to happen. And if she had worked things out with Romeo and Penelope when they met each other instead of basically panicking, things would be a lot better now. At least she wouldn't feel as bad of a person and no one would be as hurt.