The Story Of A Girl- A Book Of Original Poetry

The Betrayal of a Mother

The one time I thought I could count on you
Turns out I couldn't.
Could I ever?
I wish I could but I can't.

Songs about being seventeen
Rebelling by not doing anything,
Loving my mother was a crime against my age
So why did my friends look so betrayed?
I gave them fair warning,
"The next time I see her it's going down."
Rebelling against rebelling against my age
Doing what was expected from me as a teen
Doing what I wish I didn't
Speaking my thoughts for once.
And now that it's done,
Do I feel any better?
Not at all,
But my therapist and my sisters
Are getting tired of my stories.
She's all I can talk about
And not in a good way.

So why do they feel betrayed
That I'm betrayed?
But not about that
But because I said something,
Because I used my voice,
Because I told her off.

Why do I feel down
Because she looked down
Because I talked to her
About something that needed to be said
Something that has been in my head?

And the wound is fresh but does that make it better?
Fresh like farm to table,
I said it would taste kinder
Like a puppy being trained
That's the metaphor I used
Word for word.

But now my friends are sad
That I said anything at all,
Because you pretended like it was all ok
And they believed those eyes
You did persuade.
But only them because you can't lie to me,
I see through those puppy eyes
And I see the betrayal as it happened
The betrayal of a mother to me, her daughter.

-kay

This poem is extremely personal to me because it is word for word an experience that actually happened to me. Usually my poems are a combination of real life and story telling but this is all real baby! I told my therapist that I had to say something to my mother in the moment because it's "like a puppy being trained" and comparing my mom to a puppy will haunt me forever.