She hated her, absolutely hated her. How could she walk around like that? Free and confident. Something Natasha Romanoff wasn't accustomed too. She was never free, always controlled by someone. Always used, treated as a means to an end. Disposable. But that disgustingly beautiful brunette, Maria Hill, was not disposable.
Maria Hill thought Natalia Romonova was strong. The red head did not need anyone, so Maria never bothered to initiate a friendship. The Russian had pushed her away anyway, and Maria hadn't even tried. Maria, unbothered, continued with her day to day lifestyle. Natalia Romonova was not on her mind, she was not her problem.
However, Nat always had a way into becoming a problem.
She didn't turn up to meetings at first. Was it an act of defiance? She didn't care. Quite frankly Maria had become sick of her deadly looks when passing her in the hallways, what had she done wrong? Natasha continued, it became normal. Some days she turned up to meetings after her missions and others she went to her room, alone.
Natasha had not been seen in two weeks. Maria, still unbothered was not concerned. Definitely not. She wasn't, was she? Her guilty conscience grew. After five more days she couldn't keep wondering anymore. She went into Nat's room and found her asleep. She was wearing the ACDC shirt she had stolen of Tony, and her crimson locks looked greasy. Her bed sheets smelt of sweat, Maria decided to withdraw. Natasha had not been looking after herself. After talking to Tony, he informed Hill that he had given Romanoff that shirt at least days ago. Natasha had not left S.H.I.E.L.D since her defection from the Red Room, she had refused to go out into public and buy clothes. Her wardrobe consisted of S.H.I.E.L.D issued track suits. Tony had told Hill that he bumped into Romanoff at 3am in the kitchen, both being insomniacs. She was looking for a snack, and walked straight past him. Her eyes had sunken in and she looked sickly. He had not seen her leave her room since. Maria wondered when she stopped being the Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D to become a concerned colleague.
Maria was now seriously worried, it was unlike Natasha hide a way this long. Usually she pulled herself back together within days, but maybe she was too far gone? Without thinking, Hill found herself outside Natasha's bedroom door. Her feet having a mind of their own. She hesitated, at first, before knocking on the door softly. Not wanting to startle her. "Natasha?" she called out into the bleak room. She was met with silence. She scanned the room swiftly, Natasha was not on her bed but rather curled up on the floor. Maria's heart sank. She too had been like this before, after her last tour in Iraq when her fellow soldiers were killed. She remembered it all to well, how she blamed herself. She couldn't get out of bed for days.
"Nat" she called out again, coming closer towards her. "It's okay", she sat next to the red head. "It's okay" she repeated, more confidently this time, before lifting Nat's head up and sliding her legs under it slowly to act as a substitute pillow. She noticed Natasha's tear stained face, and began to stroke Natasha's hair in her lap. Nat's eyes were dull, but she looked like she was unable to sleep. The bags under them becoming a dark shade of purple. How can one live with that much red in their ledger? Natasha wasn't sure.
"Natasha, you can sleep now. I'm here, you're safe, I promise." she whispered into the silent room. Natasha didn't respond verbally but she soon curled up into a tighter ball. but took out one arm which was tucked under her chest and wrapped it around Maria's waist. She wanted her to stay. "Close your eyes", and she did. Natasha drifted off into a peaceful sleep for the first time since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. The words "you're safe" echoing in the back of her mind.
Natasha Romanoff, for the first time in her life, was safe.
