⚠️im actually putting a trigger warning even though nobody reads these just incase severe eating disorder trigger warnings, please do not read if you have or currently do suffer with an ed dont risk falling into the loop again please get help⚠️
maybe i litterally wanna die????? idk thay sounds so dumb why is everything so difficult, its so hard to be motivated! i want to work on my body so im more confident but as soon as i get into it i fumble it bro wtf and my boyfriend is really doing amazing at working on his and i think im kinda scared that i wont get back into it and he'll get the body he wants and then find someone better that what i have to offer :( why does my tummy have to make me hurt this bad its just my stupid fucking stomach thats ruining ALL of my confidence, why do i have to just let myself down again and again and again????? why cant i just stick to it and work for it and be happy with myself why do i keep getting in my own way. this is why fucking starving yourself is so much easier at least if you fucking eat then you can sick it all up to make yourself feel better and not fucking disgusting and fat i wish more than anything in the whole world i could just slice my stupid stomach open and fucking take all the fat out and just sow it back up and feel pretty and like im enough, why do i keep letting myself suffer? why cant i just fucking make the difference instead of being stuck in this stupid fucking loop, i want to just calorie count at this point and cut meals out and fucking hurl over the toilet how long would i have to go for? i just want to loose like 7/8 stupid fucking kilos thats it how long fuck it let me starve at least ill feel good enough for this stupid fucking
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iykwim
Non-Fictionreal and severe trigger warnings, im venting and telling the story of how i feel when i cant keep it to myself anymore. Please dont worry for me I will be okay and i have people who love me to pick me up when i get really bad but for now this is jus...
