OFF OF THE DEEP END | CHANGLIX ✔️

4. discoveries

song: fancy // twice

Sheets pooled around Changbin's body as he laid down in his bed. The tan comforter provided a cozy warmth around him as he sank into the cocoon of pillows. A strand of fairy lights twinkled above as he burrowed into the nest of his bed, propping up his computer onto his lap. A variety of old colorful stickers dotted the silver screen, cliché mottos and cute cat stickers reflecting the white glow of the lights.

While web-surfing was quite a normal pastime during Changbin's late nights, today he typed in eight letters with perfect conviction. He was a man on a mission, after all.

Slight guilt twinged his consciousness as he reluctantly clicked the search button, but he assured himself it was all just to prove a small hunch, nothing major. Either way the information turned out, he wasn't going to act on it.

Mere seconds after hitting the dreaded search key, thousands of articles flooded his screen. He was interested in those, sure, but the more pressing matter existed within the images tab.

A face greeted him, contained in millions of photos that barraged Changbin's laptop screen. The person's hair seemed to change in every photo, from vibrant orange to a baby blue, any color but monochromatic shades of grey or black. One shade prevailed through, however: a vibrant hot pink. The one persistent thing was the shape of their features: doe eyes, a button nose, and full heart-shaped lips. However, Changbin found it peculiar how the man shown never had a single freckle upon his glowing skin.

The results did prove his suspicions, though.

Whereas the rant Felix had given had been vague, certain details stood out to Changbin. How Felix had been introduced the the industry at a young age, and how he briefly mentioned the aspect of fans.

Without Felix's name, Changbin wouldn't have been interested. He had little care in celebrities lives, preferring to leave their foolish drama behind and indulge in the content of famous people who had either retreated from stardom into the lavish retirement life or were dead.

But because of the stupid squirrel that had made a nest in a tiny corner of Changbin's heart, he cared.

And the celebrity who's disappearance had caused the stupid squirrel's glumness had waltzed right into their world.

On a whim, Changbin opened up YouTube. Perhaps he could see what made Felix so desirable. He typed Lee Felix into the bar, entering the name and waiting as hundreds of videos popped up. The first video to appear had a grand total of two billion views, and further scrutiny lead to Changbin recognizing the video as one of the fancams Jisung had raved about for days. He clicked it open, wondering what two billion people must have been so interested in. It wasn't doubt in Felix's capabilities, per see, he just struggled to comprehend the utter quantity of people who had watched the performance.

A joyful tune greeted him, undertones of piano paired with some electronic beat. Changbin watched as Felix scampered onto the center of the stage, beaming a shining white smile at the clusters of fans who screamed enthusiastically. His eyes glittered, placed above full cheeks pushed up by the beaming smile. A stark contrast to the Felix he'd met, who sported a more mature appearance featuring a chiseled face instead of childlike chubbiness.

Felix bowed in front of the crowd, his figure illuminated by a sole white spotlight. Bright pink hair glowed in the ivory lightning, the hair matching perfectly with the pink overall shorts that cinched over Felix's waist. He wore a buttoned up white shirt underneath the overalls, and a pair of white socks that reached up almost to his knees. He looked cute, but the concept didn't seem to suit right with him, or at least in Changbin's eyes.

Raising the mic studded with glittering pink rhinestones, Felix sang his first note.

Changbin knew Felix was an artist known for his falsetto, but it was still striking to hear the idol hit the impossibly high notes with ease, his voice matching pitch with a female soprano.

After hearing his confessions, the innocent act all seemed like a ploy. Changbin's opinion was further advanced after hearing Felix's quick speech after the end of his spectacular performance. He spoke in a high, childish voice, instead of his normal deep voice.

Was this what Felix meant when he said he outgrew what those wanted of him?

The one of the few bits of knowledge Changbin possessed about Felix was his sudden debut at 15. Felix had starred in the sort of reality show that stemmed idols, and quickly emerged as a fan favorite. After completely trouncing his opponents with his godly voice, agencies were clamoring to snatch up the young talent. The second he signed the papers for an enlistment to an agency, his debut was scheduled. Most of the K-Pop world knew him because of his viral presence on the show, and he had fans at day one.

For a few more hours, Changbin scoured the internet, intrigued by Felix's backstory.

It seemed that when Felix debuted, his management set up a concept based on his cute visuals and feminine voice. Upbeat pop songs paired with glittery pastel outfits were what defined Felix's idol presence. During the past year or so, some love ballads had been released instead of the traditional pop anthem. Still, not a single trace could be found online of Felix's actual deep tone.

Changbin wondered what Felix felt of it. He wondered if the younger felt suffocated. He wondered what stress Felix's voice had taken from the strain of being forced to speak and sing so loud.

And he was horrified by the amount of work that was demanded of the idol. Just as Felix had mentioned, he hadn't had a break since the last shreds of his childhood at 14. The several months long period between comebacks could hardly be counted as a break, it was filled with recording songs, press interviews, and learning choreography. Being one of the most famous solo idols of the time, Felix's spare time was demanded to participate in shows or get hired for a collaboration either with another artist or a brand.The K-Pop industry was nauseating. Unlike western artists who could disappear save for a performance every year, idols were pressured into routinely combacks that required countless interviews and extensive performances, not to mention tours.

Not to mention the fact that Felix couldn't go outside. Almost everyone in the country knew his features, and paparazzi were desperate to capture photos of him. Even when covering his features with a mask and a hat, photos were still released, presumably taken by fans, of him simply trying to buy a snack at a convenience store.

It was a wonder he hadn't been spotted yet. Changbin pondered how the idol had managed to last several months without being seen by anyone, and still wander around. It was surprising that Felix had removed his mask when they'd first met too, not knowing whether Changbin was a fan or not. Of course, while his general features were the same, the black hair, freckles, and deep voice could confuse a new fan.

He admired Felix, too. While the fame and money might lead to misassumptions about the prestigious life of an idol, the amount of work Felix had put in to climb up through the ranks of the K-Pop industry was simply inspiring. To Changbin, someone who's daily routine was quite non assuming and laid-back, for a young teen to not cave under the pressure and continue to excel was incredibly impressive. He could finally understand Jisung's obsession, and admired the idol.

Besides, he couldn't disagree with Jisung's statement that Felix was incredibly pretty.

book: fangirl // rainbow rowell

a/n
am i the only one who struggles with vocabulary?
like i know the words and their definitions when i use a thesaurus, they're just not in the front of my brain. i forget basic words on a daily basis and take like 5 minutes trying to scour my brain for the word.