OFF OF THE DEEP END | CHANGLIX ✔️

3. impromtu convos

song: omg // newjeans

No more than a half hour into his morning shift, the door opened and welcomed in a familiar figure. Staying true to his word, Felix arrived at the shop, presumably on his quest to become a regular at the bookstore. It brought a smile onto Changbin's face to see Felix executing his promise.

"Can I have some advice choosing a book?" Felix asked, propping his chin up on his elbows to peer over the counter at Changbin. He was still diligently wearing his mask, which obscured all of his features besides his eyes and a few scattered freckles that escaped the hold of the black fabric.

"Bring it on," Changbin responded.

Felix tilted his head slightly on the surface of his palms, staring off into some slace behind Changbin's head.

"I'm at an impasse. I half want to drown myself in platitude sappy romances, and also partly am craving some woeful pessimistic novel. I'm not sure which one would help me feel better."

"Personally, when I'm frustrated the amount of clichés that litter classic romances just rile me up more. Then again, I'm not much of a romance person generally."

"Ah, I'm sort of a hopeless romantic myself. Normally, reading about people finding love makes me all optimistic and fuzzy and shit. It just hasn't been hitting right the past couple weeks. That's mostly why I want to read a darker book."

"Well.. I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to drown out so I can't find something specific, but how would a romance with a more abhorrent turn to it feel? The works— forbidden romance and mysteries with a hint of murder."

From behind the fringe that covered most of the face uncovered by the mask, Changbin swore Felix eyes turned up into a smile as he replied, "That sounds wonderful."

Changbin selected books off of the stuffed shelves, a few being his own personal favorites. Once he'd collected a suitable amount, he returned to Felix, who had been waiting patiently.

"This one is an emotional rollercoaster with a lot of toxic exes," He explained, trying to remember the details of the books that had grown hazy because of the sheer amount of books he'd read, "And this one made me sob, but there's a decent amount of mental health problems, so I'd avoid it if any of that is triggering."

"What sort of mental health things?

"If I remember correctly, she has severe depression that's triggered by loneliness, and it leads her to suicidal thoughts. It was written incredibly well, but it can be a bit too much."

"I'll take that one. Perhaps reading about something.. familiar will help."

"You can also talk to me about anything, if you want— no pressure whatsoever."

"Okay. Maybe that will help."

Felix collapsed into one of the dark green armchairs bordering a merrily crackling fireplace; one of the reading nooks tucked into corners of the shop. The owner preferred the warmth of a fire to a heater, and used artificial wood to prevent the shop from stinking of wood smoke.

The black-haired man gesticulated at a adjacent chair, signaling for Changbin to join him. The soft fabric of the chair molded into his body as he sank into the chair, the comfort of the worn chair surpassing the familiar surface of the couch he frequented behind the counter.

Felix took off his mask, slipping the material into a pocket as he began, "So where to start..

"My current job was always my dream growing up. I pursued it endlessly, and my hard work payed off, as I got hired at a considerably young age. At the time, I just knew that it was an offer to do the thing I'd always longed to do. And I was good at it, and many loved my work." Despite the prideful words, Felix's tone was tinged with regret and spite.

"The dream took up too much of me. There was always something I could be doing better, something I could change, and it destroyed me. Especially when I got older and grew out of what those wanted me to be. I had to be absolutely perfect.

"When my mental and physical state decreased from the sheer pressure I had put upon myself, my management forced me to take a much needed break, the first official break I've taken ever since starting my career at a teen. But once starting the break, I was at a standstill. My profession is all I've ever known. Whenever I tried desperately to dip my toe back into the waters of it, to test it out under no pressure, the stress fell upon me once more. Because of that, I've avoided it all together. Without the familiarity of my métier, there was nothing to do. I have no hobbies, nothing to indulge in despite having more free time than I've had in almost a decade."

Changbin was floored. It was such a vulnerable speech, and he'd never been relied on for such information, such trust in him made him feel wanted. Though, the details did stir up parts of Jisung's lovesick rants about someone from over the years, the uncanny familiarity raising a theory in his mind.

"Sorry, did I dump too much on you?" Felix chucked awkwardly, one of his hands reaching to fiddle with a strand of hair on his nape. Changbin debated reaching out, possibly holding the other's hand as an attempt at comfort. He ultimately decided against that, afraid that he would overstep Felix's boundaries and mindful ofthe tender moment between them.

"Not at all. I'm honored that you decided to trust me with this information. Please let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Will do," Felix was the one who initiated the contact, brushing the tips of his fingers against Changbin's arm, before pulling away and smiling warmly at the other, "And thank you. It felt good to talk to someone. I think.. I think I've needed that for a long time."

"Well, I'm here."

a/n
i'm aware that they've only known each other for several days. however, i did want to amplify the sometimes desperate need to talk to someone, despite them being an actual stranger.

it's not exactly a bonding moment, more like a moment of desperate truth and a yearning to be heard and understood.