Blind

Chapter 10

El's POV:
"Nothing you do is enough! It's your fault Vecna existed, yet I'm dealing with the consequences!" These voices screamed in my head as I walked home. Or where I lived at least. Nowhere is home. I don't belong.

"It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault Eleven. You're a monster." My feet were carrying me to the bathroom. It was like I wasn't even controlling myself. "You ruined Max's life! Why didn't you let 001 kill you? Nobody would've missed you." I locked the door behind me, and began searching through the drawers.

"What are you gonna do? Hurt me with your mean stare? You don't belong. Kill yourself. No one will miss you. You will make them happy." A razor. I picked it up and held it to my wrist. "You should've let 001 kill you. But now you can do it yourself. Kill yourself. Make Max happy." I can make Max happy. I cut my wrist, feeling a burning sensation.

"Not enough. You're not enough, you never will be. You're a monster Eleven. Kill yourself. It's the only way to pay for what you did. Max deserves better than to be friends with you." Another cut. It felt good. I deserve it.

"NOT ENOUGH. CUT YOURSELF UNTIL YOU'RE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD. PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE. MAKE MAX HAPPY!" The voices screamed in my head, but I knew they were right. Another cut. And another. I looked down at my arm. Blood covered it, you couldn't even see my skin there anymore. I began to feel dizzy.

"KILL YOURSELF ELEVEN. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PAY. YOU'RE A MONSTER. NO ONE LOVES YOU. NO ONE WILL MISS YOU. YOU DON'T BELONG. DIE. DIE. DIE!" My head was pounding. My arm felt like it was on fire. Blood trickled onto the floor. Another cut. My vision turned black. I fell to the floor.

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Will's POV:
Max and I were in Nancy's car, we were gonna hang out in my house today. Max is planning on apologising to El. I think she's at home right now, she's still not answering my calls. We arrived, and we said bye to Nancy and Robin before heading inside. "El!" I shouted. "Where are you?"

No answer.

"El! Max is here with me! She wants to apologise!" I shouted.

No answer.

That's weird. Normally she'd come downstairs, or at least shout from our room. I went upstairs and opened our bedroom door. Not here. Max was behind me. "Where is she?" She asked.
"I don't know." I answered honestly, "Let me call her." I put in her number, no answer. Just as I was about to hang up, Max spoke.
"Wait. Do you hear that?" She asked.
We stayed silent. We heard El's ringtone. "Did she leave her phone at home?" Max asked.
"No, she called me with it last night. Mum never lets her go out without her phone." I said, following where the noise was coming from. I stopped outside a door. The bathroom.

"El." I said, knocking on the door. "I'm home with Max. We're not mad, I promise." No answer. "El!" I knocked again, "Can you please open the door?" No answer. "I'm coming in!"
I tried the door handle, but it was locked. "El! Unlock the door!" Still, no answer.

"Ugh, how do we open the door?" I asked.
"I have a paper clip, know how to picklock it?" Max asked.
"Of course. Thanks Max." She handed me the paper clip and I began opening the door. 2 minutes later, I unlocked it. "El! We're coming in!" I slowly opened the door, and I saw El on the floor, surrounding in blood. Her blood.

"El!" I screamed. I ran to her, "El, wake up! Please!" She wasn't responding. I flipped her over so she was lying on her back. I put my ear to her chest. A faint heartbeat.
"What the fuck is happening?!" Max shouted.
"El's c-cut herself! We need to go to the hospital. Now!" I carried El in my arms and rushed downstairs.
"What?!" Max screamed. She rushed down too, not caring if she fell over or not. "I'll call Nancy!" She said. She grabbed the phone on the wall and dialled the familiar number.

I lay El down on the floor. She was so light it was breaking my heart. "El!" I shouted, shaking her. "Please wake up. I can't lose you El." She was still passed out.

"Nancy!" Max screamed, "Come to Will's now! It's a fucking emergency!"
"I'm on my way, what happened?" Nancy asked, rushing through traffic.
"E-El..." Max couldn't say it, "Just come!" She shouted.
"I'll be there in a second." Nancy said.
Max hung up, and went up to me. "I-is she alive?" She asked, her voice breaking.
"Just about. Her heartbeat is faint." I said. I looked at Max and saw her trying not to break down. I held her hand, "She'll be ok. El's survived worse things."
"She can't die. I never got to say goodbye, I kicked her out." She thought for a moment until her face paled, "Am I the r-reason?" She asked, looking like she was gonna faint.
"She's alive Max." I said, not answering her question. I know El gets heartbroken when people close to her hurt her, especially people as close as Max.

We heard a car swerve in the driveway. I picked El up and rushed outside, still holding Max's hand with one hand so we were quicker. Nancy saw El and paled. "What the fuck happened to El?!" She shouted.
"She cut herself, last night or this morning I don't know. We just need to get to the hospital. Her heartbeat is faint, and slow."
Nancy nodded and started the car as we all got in. El's head was in Max's lap, whereas her body was in mine. Max was stroking her hair, tears falling down from her cheeks. "I'm so sorry." She whispered.

Tears entered my eyes as we drove, El not even responding to anything once. I felt her pulse, and it was definitely slowing down.

We can't lose El. She's our light in the dark, we need her.