Can't help but Love You (Bucky Barnes FF)

Chapter 2

An hour later I am two beers deep into a conversation with James. We're now both sat at the bar but turned on our chairs to face each other.

„You're lying to me!" I blurt out before I can stop myself. He just smirks, shrugs his shoulders and takes a sip. „You've never had a girlfriend? I can't believe you. How old are you?" I force myself not to laugh as I didn't know how sensitive the topic was.

„106." He answers and looks me straight in the eyes. That's when I can't hold back my laugh anymore. I almost fall off the chair, but James holds me up by grabbing my lower arm just in time. I giggle.

„You're special, aren't you." I say, after I pulled myself together.

„Apparently." He responds looking at me amused.

„Seems like it." I put my elbow on the bar and rest my chin on top of my hand. I look at him. Like, really look at him for a while. I've already noticed his beautiful blue eyes the first few times he's been here. Now I notice his prominent cheekbones, his small but masculine nose. His crinkled forehead. I assume he frowns a lot. That's what I've been seeing quite a few times today. And I notice his soft lips. They shimmer in the dim light of the bar.

When I pull my eyes back up to his I see that he's looking at me. There's a tense silence between us. I clear my throat, but my voice still sounds a little raspy when I start talking.

„So you haven't been dating a lot?" I don't know where the question comes from. It seems so random, now that it fills the air between us. I can feel him waiting for the words to sink in.

„I don't date. I used to date...a lot. But not anymore."

„Why?" I ask quickly to mask my disappointment. Why am I disappointed? Did I want to date him? Yes. He seems like the type of guy I would see myself go on a few dates with. I don't know why but I feel weirdly comfortable around him. He just radiates calm energy for me.

„I've had a couple of...challenges in my life and after that I just stopped." He says and then downs the rest of his fourth beer. How is he not at least a little drunk right now?

„Do you mean the blip?" I ask searching his face for answers. He looks at the bottle he just put on the counter and I can see him swallow. His jaw tightens.

„I-" he starts and I can see him struggling. I kind of want to take back the question but I also want to hear this. „I bliped." Now it's my time to swallow.

„That must have been so hard. Coming back and nothing's the same." I say quietly. His eyes finally find mine.

„I take it you didn't blip and I believe it to have been even harder for you." His look seems sincerely concerned. I can't take it so I look away.

„It's fine. You know I didn't lose someone who majorly influences my life."

„You didn't?" I look back to him and his face is so genuinely confused, that I can't help but let out a laugh.

„You know, if you keep your circle small, there's not much left to loose." He nods. It sounds sadder than it is. I like keeping my circle small. At least my inner circle. And as my best friend Kylie didn't blip I had my most important people still around.

„Let's talk about something a little more uplifting, shall we?" I smile. James just looks at me, as if in thought. Then there seems to be a quick change of emotion showing on his face.

„I actually have to go." He says a little fast. My eyes widen and I open my mouth.

„Oh" I say. „Yeah, sure. No problem. I should probably close up anyway." His obvious rejection kind of throws me off.