Twenty-Six | Kettle

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I am an idiot

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I am an idiot.

It's been over seven hours since I've had the pleasure of doing anything remotely unfriendly with Josephine Devereaux, and I'm still dwelling on the fact that she genuinely thought I left her after we hooked up.

I'm still internally scolding myself over the fact that my brain was too busy short-circuiting after the events that played out last night, and it led to me forgetting to tell Josie that I wanted her to stay the night and that I had no intention of leaving.

But I'm just glad I got my shit together in time, because if I didn't, she wouldn't still be here.

Josie's frame lies on top of my body, her head resting on my chest and leg bent and propped atop on my torso. Her other hand lies on my chest, thin fingers spanning across my pec. Her face is slightly shielded by the fawn-colored hair that fans out behind her head, a few strands falling over her sleeping face. Her freckles are visible with the morning light in tow, and I find myself inadvertently trying to sync my breathing with hers, like a five year old boy with a crush.

Waking her up is the last thing I want to do, but after years of trying to figure her out, a part of me knows that it's selfish to indulge in this when Josie herself wouldn't be able to do so. So with that realization, I slowly start to move my body, hoping she's a light sleeper.

As I start to sit up, Josie stirs, beginning to sit up as well.

"Good morning." I say, not knowing what to anticipate as far as her reaction. I keep my hands to myself, resisting the desperate urge to caress her soft, freckled skin beneath my fingertips, knowing that everything needs to be about her until she's ready to accept an "us".

Josie squints, rubbing her eyes. My heart stutters at the action as I watch her take in her surroundings. Eventually, she turns towards me, sitting up fully, facing me without any physical contact.

"Good morning." She says sheepishly, struggling to make direct eye contact with me.

"How'd you sleep?" I ask quietly, testing the waters.

"Good." she replies, her tone more assured than before, then asking, "what time is it?"

"Ten-thirty." I say, as I swing my legs off the side of the bed, beginning to stand up.

"Oh, shit. I gotta go meet Blancs." Josie says, sitting up straighter and beginning to follow my lead as she gets up behind me.

My eyes rake over her figure unabashedly, her frame completely swallowed by my shirt and sweatpants. I shake myself out of my trance, trying to not get too consumed by the way my clothes fit her, by the fact that I like them on her far too much. Josie's eyes flicker across me as well, and I'm reminded that I'm shirtless upon seeing the red in her cheeks. Deciding against calling her out, I turn around and start walking towards my desk, grabbing a plastic bag that's on my desk. I walk towards the end of the bed and pick up her clothes from last night that are lying on the floor, including the underwear that is definitely not reminding me of how it ended up there in the first place. I put it in the plastic bag and give it to her, grabbing her purse from last night that's on the floor as well.

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