Madison's Journey

Part 14: Madison's POV

TW: Self-directed thoughts of hatred.

I take the bottle from Christen's hand and run back upstairs.

'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why would I go down there? Why would I say all those things? They hate me. They are lying. They are going to send me back. Why? Why did I do this to myself?' I go back into the closet. 'At least I'm safe until camp. They can't make me go anywhere until camp is over.' I curl back up in the corner of the closet. 'First I ruin dinner then I have to go and do this. I really am an idiot.' Soon after I find myself being startled awake by a knock at the door.

"Madi? You awake it's Tobin. We have to get ready to leave soon. Breakfast is on the table. Madi?" I stand up and grab the handle to the door. Slowly I push it open to see a smiling Tobin Heath. "You're awake! Awesome! Go ahead and get dressed. I put a shirt on your bed if you want to wear it, you don't have to if you don't want to, but it might be fun. Then come down Chirs is making eggs and bacon."

I nod to her and she takes her leave. I head out of the closet and look at the shirt that Tobin put on the bed. It's a Tobin Heath Thorns jersey. I slide on a thin long sleeve shirt and put the jersey on over it. I also find a thin pair of sweatpants. 'It's going to be warm out in the sun today, but I don't want them to see my scars, then they'll hate me anymore. They'll think that I'm gross.'

Once I'm done I head downstairs. There is already a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon waiting on the counter.

"Morning Madi! How'd you sleep?" Chris questions.

"G-g-good-d."

"That's good, this is your's," She says handing me the plate, "You can go ahead and take a seat at the table, Toby and I will be right over, ok?" I nod. "Did you want anything to drink?"

"M-m-milk-k?"

"Ya, I'll bring it right over. Did Tobin get you that shirt?" She asks with a small laugh.

"Th-thank-k y-you. A-and y-yes sh-she d-did. Is is th-that-t ok ok?"

"Of course it is. I was just wondering if you had it from before. If you were that much of a Toby fan."

"I-I d-do lik-ke T-Tobin-n. J-just-t nev-never had th-the mon-money for o-one." I pick up a piece of bacon and start eating. Christen brings me a glass of milk and takes a seat with me at the table. Tobin joins us just as I'm finishing up. Tobin sits to eat and I wait patiently to be dismissed to finish getting ready, "Are you going to finish your eggs?"

I look at Tobin before looking down at my plate. 'They hate me now I'm wasting their food. Did they not read that I'm allergic to eggs in my file?'

"I-I-I uh u-uh I..." I look down at my plate again.

"Eggs... Eggs..." Christen whispers to herself, "Oh shit! Your file, you're allergic to eggs when they haven't been cooked in something else." I nod. Christen stands up and takes the plate from in front of me. I flinch when she reached for it but she was in such a rush she didn't notice. "I'm so sorry Madi. Are you still hungry? I can make some more bacon or some toast?" I shake my head. 'The last thing that I want to do is make them waste more food on me.'

"Are you sure? God Madi I'm sorry. I should have remembered."

"We both should have. If you get hungry just let us know and we'll get you a snack alright?" I nod. "There's one other thing." I look down ready for the scolding that's about to come. I resist the urge to bring my knees to my chest. "After what happened with dinner yesterday we both understand that you may not want to come with us down to the locker room today. Which is completely fine, so if you want AD's partner Emily said that it would be ok if you wanted to spend the game hanging out with her."

"You don't have to decide right this second, and if you pick one and change your mind that's ok too," Chris adds to what Tobin said. I nod, "Why don't you head back up and finish getting ready? We need to head out in about half an hour."

"O-ok." With that, I scurry back upstairs to the room. I close the door to the main room than the one to the closet. 'Stupid! Why can't I do anything right?' I hit the palm of my hand against my temple. 'I need to stop being such a burden to everyone.' I sit in the corner for fifteen minutes before I get the energy again to finish getting ready. I head into the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth and wash my face. When I'm done I head back downstairs to put my shoes on.

"You ready Mads?" Tobin asks. I nod my head. 'I don't want to be a burden to them today, but I don't know if I can go off with this other person.'

"C-c-c-can I-I g-go d-down-n t-to th-the lock-ker r-room with-th you a-and-d Ch-christ-s-sten?"

"Of course. Then we have a seat right behind the bench for you so you can still be close. Does that sound ok?" I nod. "Chris is out in the car, why don't you go wait with her, I'll be out in a minute." I head outside and join Christen in the car

"Did you decide what you want to do today?"

"St-tay-y with-th y-you and-d T-Tob-bin."

"Perfect, here," She reaches into her purse to pull something out. She hands me two twenty dollar bills, "For during half time. You won't be able to come back with us during half-time so use this to get yourself something to eat, ok." I shake my head. "Why not?"

"T-too m-much."

"Well, maybe. You can just give me back the change ok. You don't have to spend all of it. But take it ok? It would make me feel better if you had it." This time I nod.

"Ok." I take the offered money and put it in my pocket.

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Leave a like or comment to let me know what you think.

Let me know if you have any ideas or if there's anything that you would like to see going forward.