Simon the Homeless

THE JUNGLE

Simon was frozen in time because this book hasn't beeen updated since January 16th, and he couldn't continue living unless a reader stumbled upon the new chapter.

Then, Gaspard appeared. He looked okay even though he got eaten by a jaguar two months ago. He was sus

"What the fuck I thought you died!1!" Simon said, cleching his fist so hard that his bones cracked loudly "I had hope that I could live in peace without you torturing me and my friends from school!1! I hate you!1!"

Simon tried to hit Gaspard, but Gaspard was stronger. He used the atmosphere and the satellites and burn Simon. He crackled painfully

"Stop it hurts!1!!1!1!1!!1!1!1!" Simon begged pathetically.

"Not as much as it hurt when Blankie didn't come back" Gaspard said deeply as the wind blew coldly and sadly. "You took his life so I will take yours"

"Gaspard no!1!" Simon screamed as he desinigrated. Gaspard watched with excitement as his brother became one with the wind.

"Lol" He said, and became a monke. He monked through the trees. This was his forest now...

But the jungle was actually scary. It randomly became night, and the blood thirsty cannibals came out from the canopy. When they saw Gaspard, they gave chase.

Gaspard tried to monke away as fast as he could, but the cannibals were stronger. They cornered Gaspard epicly.

"No wait you can't kill me!1!1!!1!1!1!1! 😭😩💀😖⚡🤦🤡👿" Gaspard had a stroke.

"why" A random 60 year old monkey man hybrid asked dumbly.

"Because it's Koen's birthday in three hours so all the main characters in his books get cut some slack!!!!!!" Gaspard announced determinedly. He needed to survive so he could find Blankie.

But Koen actually gave the cannibals permission to eat Gaspard 😔

"No, I hate you!1!1!!1!1!" Gaspard yelled disrespectfully. He tried to run, but the cannibals feasted on his flesh before he could do anything. As he died, Gaspard sang the lyrics to Funkytown. It the only good memory he could cling on to since he became homeless in chapter one.

"Won't you take me to Funkytown!!! Won't you take me to Funkytown!!! Dih dih dih! Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!! Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!!!"

Soon, Gaspard the only thing left of Gaspard was his long ass ears. The cannibals didn't eat them because they were too fucking long to fit in their mouths.

"Good job guys, my plan worked perfectly" An evil voice said from the trees. It stepped out dramatically and the wind blew epicly and lightning crackled in the sky. It was...

Ava!1!!!1!

"Sure" A random guy said. "His balls were good"

...

stop

"I'm glad I got revenge on him for flying away from me when I became a parrot. He was not very nice and I needed to teach him a lesson." Ava explained for no reason. The guys suddenly looked evily at her.

"Guys what r u doing..." Ava said sussily, backing away. The cannibals closed in on her. There was no escape.

Then, she returned to her parrot form and zoomed away. The cannibals gave chase.

Ava conveniently got corned by a tree. Knowing her fate, she screamed and ascended. The cannibals had to cover their eyes because the light was unbearable. She painfully crackled until she became... a shark. But then she died because she couldn't survive out of water. That was stupid

Now, the cannibals had no one else to feast on, because sharks tasted too oily and fishy to them. They stalked the forest floor epicly until they went into the canopy.

This was their forest now...