Simon the Homeless

crimus special?1?1!1?1!1

While they were chasing the father, they suddnely...

no clipped into the backrooms?1?1?1

but instead of the backrooms it was... the north pole.

how?1?1??1?1?1!1!1?1?1?

Then, a jolly guy approached Simon and Gaspard. He said...

"Ho ho ho! Suck my nuts!1!1!"

"Sure" Simon said.

...ayo?

"S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Santa is that you???" Gaspard said like an average hopeful child protagonist in a chrysler movie

"Yes little boy! I've come to suck your joy!" Satan, I-I-I mean Santa bellowed hotly.

Gaspard and Simon blushed animely.

"W-Wow Santa y-y-you're so big" Gaspard said sussily.

"What kind of big?" Santa said, doing the rock eyebrow raise and the vine boom sound effect played in the background on repeat.

Gaspard couldn't handle the pressure and started making out with the big man himself.

Simon got... jealous.

He got out a flamethrower that he ordered on Amazon and aimed it at Saint Nicky Dicky.

"Say hi to Rudolph for me" Simon said evily.

"What" Rudolph said, appearing randomly

"GAGAGAGGAGAGAGAGGAHAHAG" Simon said, being very mad that he just got Rudolph jumpscared. He accidentally aimed the flamethrower at the red nosed reindeer and fired, scorching him in flames.

Rudolph exploded, and he was gone... forever.1.1.1..1...1.

Santa began to cry. "Ho oh no... my boyfriend Rudolph is dead!1!"

"Boyfriend?1?!1!?1!" Gaspard said madly. "I thought you loved me Saint Dick! I-I-I mean Nick 😳😠"

"no" Santa said meanly. Gaspard gasped betrayaldly.

Simon farted. It was so stinky that Gaspard died. Now he wouldn't have to go through the pain of a breakup.

"How do I leave this joint" Simon said, wearing sunglasses randomly and talking in a deep, seductive voice.

Santa blushed. "R-R-Right over there!1!!" He pointed to a room.

"k" Simon said, and went inside stupidly. But THEN...

Santa entered after him, and locked the door behind him.

"What the fuck" Simon said, but then Santa approached his crush slowly.

"Ever since Gaspard and I broke up, things have been tough 😔" Santa explained dramatically and sadly.

"You guys broke up like, a minute ago" Simon said gigchadly. "Also I don't care"

"You're sassy, and it's kinda hot ngl" Santa said.

"no" Simon said epicly, and began to do crack on the desk. Santa couldn't take it anymore. He was too hot!1!1!

"Can we d-d-d-d-date" Santa asked like a shy anime protagonist.

"Yeah" Simon said, and they began to make out while a violin song played in the background.

This already happened though?1? Who keeps playing the violin song?1?

Suddenly, Simon looked on his phone. The victim tracker app gave him an alert that said Andrés ran to Spain.

"I'm leaving you" Simon said, and became a gorilla. He screeched in Santa's face and ran chimpily out of the room.

"Fine!1! I don't need you anyway!1!" Santa said denialdly. He got on the speakerphone and announced...

"I need a random elf to come to my office please. I'm horny"

All the elves in the factory raced to his office. Santa was in for some fun tonight 😏

"LET'S GO GASPARD!1!1! WE'RE GOING TO SPAIN TO EAT OUR DAD!1!1!" Gorilla Simon declared boldly.

Gaspard awoke from his coma. That's how stinky Simon's fart was, and how strong Gorilla Simon's roar was.

"Don't be bad or I'll fart on you again" Gorilla Simon threatened.

Gaspard cowered in fear. If regular Simon's farts were that strong... just imagine Gorilla Simon's rips. Imagine his full-on blasts of fury. Imagine... his earth-breaking shits. Gaspard's long ass ears shook in terror. He wanted his blankie back... but he died six chapters ago.

"I want my blankie" Gaspard whining like a two year old. (he's actually three)

"Gaspard... you need to get over the accident... it wasn't your fault... it was me. I killed blankie" Simon said the last part evily.

Gaspard shook with rage. He would get his revenge someday. Not today... but someday.

Gaspard climbed on Gorilla Simon and no-clipped back into reality. They continued their trek to...

spain