Simon the Homeless

torture

Gaspard flew to his new home at the equator. It was so hot that he almost burned, but he didn't care. He needed to tattle on Simon so that Andrés and Ava will disown him again.

"MOTHER!!!! FATHER!!!" Gaspard screeched, and became a hawk. He soared to his little hut, and crashed through the roof.

Wood chips went flying, and a piece stabbed Andrés in the eye. It was so painful that he instantly discinigrated. Ava was reading a book and didn't care about her kinky husband's death.

"Simon was being homophobic and tried to rebel against the pride month!1!1!1!" Gaspard tattled. He got so proud of himself that he started 2 flex his muscles, but they broke on impact. Blood went everywhere. It was scary

"Cool" Ava said, and still read her book. Gaspard got mad at her and ate her book. Ava got mad too.

"Ugh dumb bitch brat skrunkly ahh!1!1!" Ava raged, and tried to kill Gaspard. But before she could, Gaspard was already on the other side of the room.

Knowing she wouldn't win the fight, Ava went to the couch and started to read it. It was the only book she had now. She cried as she read, because her other book was better. Gaspard wondered what was so cool about the book so he burped it out and started to read it.

It was called "how to kill your children." It was so inspiring that Gaspard started to cry. Now both him and Ava were crying. Andrés was still dead in the corner. He had un-desinigrated himself somehow.

Ava screamed out of grief. Gaspard got annoyed and spat gum at her. The gum suffocated her and she choked and died.

The tattlement had failed. Gaspard flew away from his hut unsatisfied.

Meanwhile, Simon destoryed the girl that had eaten him. The people of China town square got mad at Simon because he killed a bisexual girl. They called him biphobic and sexist. They chased him again.

Simon got in a plane and started to fly. On his way to the equator, he ran into Gaspard. The crash was so gnarly that nobody survived, not even the random parakeet the was caught in the middle of everything.

Instead of falling straight (😠) down, the wind blew them left to the equator. The brothers fell into their hut, and saw Ava cutting tomatoes and singing out of grief.

"COME ON EVERYPONY SMILE SMILE SMILE!!! FILL MY HEART UP WITH SUNSHINE SUNSHINE!!! ALL I REALLY NEED'S A SMILE SMILE SMILE FOR THESE HAPPY FRIENDS OF MINE!1!1!1!"

"What the fuck" Simon commented, and used his op hands to bring Andrés back to life. They hugged. It was a wholesome moment.

But wholesome moments never last in this book

"Son I have something random and quite possibly controversial to tell you..." Andrés confessed. "I'm lightbulbsexual"

"UGH GAY BAD!1!" Simon raged, and killed his father all over again. It was a sad moment.

"NOT AGAIN!1!" Ava randomly raged, and tried to kill Simon. But before she could, Simon was already on the other side of the room.

Knowing she wouldn't win the fight, Ava powered up and became a bee. (I got this idea by looking at an ad with a bee in it just now) She stung Simon and Gaspard. They crippled painfully

"AAAAAAAA!" They screamed, before dying for LIFE. It was so SAD. Everyone CRIED. Even the BIRDS. Even the crewmates that had won thanks to SIMON.

However, the other Imposter was still alive, so they didn't actually win. R.I.P bozos

Suddenly, Andrés came back to life.

"Guys I have an idea to get revenge on Simon for being homophobic!1!1!" He declared. Everyone stopped what they were doing, and Ava revived Gaspard and Simon. They took in big breaths like the big boys that they were. It was the mature thing to do. They gathered around the father.

"يا رفاق يجب أن نطلق النار على سيمون بهوياتنا المثلية حتى يموت منها"

He said. The family agreed that it was the right thing to do. Simon didn't understand Arabic so he was confused. But that was the point...

"Hey Simon" Ava said. "Guess what. I'm pansexual"

"ARRG NO!1!1!" Simon screamed, and tried to kill Ava. But before he could, she was already on the other side of the room.

Knowing he wouldn't win the fight, Simon slumped in defeat.

"Hey Simon I'm lightbulbsexual" Andrés said again. It enraged Simon. But before he could kill Andrés, he was already on the other side of the room.

"Simon" Gaspard said. Simon didn't reply, because he had been weakened by rage. He was on his final straw of life.

Gaspard killed Simon using the one word that angered him the most.

"I'm gay"

Simon exploded. The end.