Guests

Routine

The private jet leaves the coast of Morocco. Now Egypt is thousands of kilometers behind, and all I can see is an ocean that takes me back home. To a routine that scares me. A routine that repeatedly confronts me with all the fears that have haunted me for so long.

These vacations, so peaceful and magical, were the balm I needed to keep going a little longer. The stress from the press is what's driving me crazy and dragging me back to the most recent past, exacerbating my depression.

The questions remind me of my breakup with that despicable individual who took it upon himself to destroy what little self-esteem I had left. One of his methods was to attack my work. He would suggest that I take a break, insinuating that the pressure and exhaustion would overwhelm me —such a lovely way to call me weak! He offered to take care of my debts. He said that to me! As if I were someone who squandered her money! All he wanted was for me to be the trophy he showcased during his sports tours. According to him, with the money he earned, there was no need for me to play at being a singer. Can you imagine how a comment like that destroys you? I hope you don't know it; otherwise, you would be going through something similar to what I've lived, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

He didn't believe I had the talent to be a superstar, even though I was. On more than one occasion, he told me I wasn't as beautiful as other women and that he didn't like my figure, but I was good in bed... Oh my God! How could I allow such treatment for four years?

The worst part is that I wasn't the one who ended the relationship. I should have. Then I wouldn't have had to endure the epitaph he dedicated to me:

"Anna understands me and makes me feel like a real man now."

I didn't want to analyze that phrase too much, but all the damn shows and tabloids took care of it. Some media outlets sympathetic to him claimed that I had mocked his aspirations and wanted to control his career. Dear reporters, it was the opposite! He wanted to turn me into his slave, and when I didn't submit, he kicked me and dragged my name and self-esteem through the mud.

In the end, he achieved what he wanted: to take me away from work. But that time is about to end. My family, Kay, Connor, and Mary Royale, have played a part in allowing me to see today with some hope of resuming my responsibilities. Without their intervention, I don't know what would have become of me; well, actually, I do know. They were all there to pull me out of that dark pit I was in.

No, I'm not cured. Depression is a very difficult illness to overcome. I have lows that force me to give my best, to apply all the techniques Mary gave me, so that I won't be dragged down again by this beast. One of the triggers is returning to my routine. As much as I love what I do, I have to remind myself that everything I achieved wasn't because I was his partner, but because I was good at it. The awards weren't a result of his influence. The advertising offers aren't a consequence of that relationship, but because the agencies wanted me. I am important! I achieved everything! Not him!

It's going to be hard, but someday I'll be the best version of myself.

"Athena," Kay interrupts, bringing me out of my thoughts. "We had a good time, didn't we?"

"Yes. Egypt was divine," I reply, with less enthusiasm than I should have.

"Don't worry, honey." Kay knows me like no one else. She knows that coming back has a negative effect.

I didn't mention it earlier: she is the daughter of my manager, Connor Winters, and since we met over a decade ago, we hit it off. There's no one I trust more, apart from my cousin Theresa. She's not afraid to tell me whatever is necessary, whether I like it or not.

"You have to think that sooner or later, you'll have to confront all these undesirables."

"I thought I would be more prepared for this, but I feel insecure. It's not just the press, but what if I no longer have that spark to sing or act? I'm scared, Kay."

"First: I don't think you've lost the magic that characterizes you, quite the opposite. Second: as long as you react to the provocations of the press, they will keep insisting. They sell with your broadsides."

"Broadsides? Is that the new word of the day?"

"I'm being serious."

"I know."

I sigh. I don't feel like talking about the same thing. I know I brought up the topic, and I also know that Kay is giving me a rational point of view that strictly depends on me. I would love to say that I'm incredibly excited, but I can't. I'm tired. Going to Egypt didn't help me regain the desire to return to my work...

"What if we go to the Azores?" I suddenly ask, looking at the map indicating the location of the jet.

"The Azores? Is that a real place? What are we doing there?"

"I don't know... I have no idea what's there or not. What better reason than to find out?"

"Seriously? Don't airplanes have a predetermined route to follow? Can you just change it like that?"

I shrugged, got up, and knocked on the cockpit door while the flight attendant looked at me surprised. I gave him my best innocent smile. The door opened, and I saw the captain peering out, puzzled.

"Is there something wrong, miss?"

"I want you to make a stop in the Azores."

"Uh... It's not that simple... At the airport..."

"I know it's sudden, and I apologize for the inconvenience." I try to be assertive; I'm not asking for something easy. "I need us to land there. Don't worry about the money or the procedures."

"They'll ask me to confirm how long the jet will be parked at the airport."

"Tomorrow at eight o'clock in the evening, we'll take off," I assure, thinking that a day and a bit will be enough.

"We're talking about a cost close to ten thousand dollars to land in Ponta Delgada, plus the rental fees for the plane during those hours. We could be looking at an additional seventy thousand dollars."

I nod slowly. Seventy thousand dollars to add to my expenses on the island and what I've already spent in Egypt. This trip will cost me half a million dollars in total. I take a deep breath, and although the thought of continuing the flight to NYC crosses my mind, I confirm to the captain my intention to make the stop.

I feel bad for squandering so much money. As I return to my seat, I stop twice to turn around and ask the captain to disregard my order. I should spend my money more wisely. These are the actions that lead you to ruin without even realizing it.

I return to my seat while Kay looks at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Athena, the adventurer," she says, making an explosion gesture with her hands. It's a good euphemism for referring to my ability to squander so much cash.

"That's not a bad idea as a title for my next album: Adventure." I try to push the economic aspect out of my mind and go along with Kay's game. "I like it! I should hire you as my creative assistant."

"Fuck your assistant offer! I deserve to be creative manager at least"

"I'll mention it to my agent and see what he thinks. Although I don't expect much from him lately. He hasn't been very on point."

"You're wicked!"

I wink at her. I lookout the window and smile as I see the plane change direction. One lastadventure, and that's it.

🎸📖💜

The adventure is about to begin!

Only the progression of the chapters will tell if all that effort was worth it.

The numbers you read are real estimated values, and I was impressed to obtain them.

As always, I appreciate your comments and if you enjoy the novel, don't hesitate to share it on your social media and tag me.

See you in the next chapter!