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Pizza Time!

The flirting between us is becoming shameless. The worst part is that I feel incapable of stopping it. Rick plays along, and he doesn't blush as much as before. It's undeniable that we're attracted to each other. What I don't know is how this should end. I also don't know if I want to think about that right now.

I have no idea what's going to happen with Kay and Rick's flight. The company could call him any minute, and he would have to rush to the airport to catch the flight that will take him to fulfill his dreams.

I can't hold him back, no matter how much I want to handcuff him to the corner of my bed and keep him there until I get tired. I already told you that I don't feel comfortable replicating the behavior that led me to crash and burn in my life.

I want to clarify one thing: my depression is not because of a guy. It's something that goes beyond that. It's something I've carried for a long time, and the other person's infidelity intensified it. My adolescence was tough: my parents divorced when I was just a child, and I didn't have many friends in high school. I can't say I suffered from bullying, but I did face the disdain of many of my classmates, especially the boys. Then the production company kicks me out and fires me from the TV show "A Queen At Home," making me feel like a product, like a disposable item to be used and discarded. The unmentionable one dug into all those wounds and made them even deeper. The final straws were the infidelity and hurtful words. It may be easy to say, but it's been years of fueling a problem that I didn't want to see or acknowledge.

I know I can't be held responsible for other people's feelings! But I am responsible for wanting something more than a friendship with a man who has a family. I understand what they say, that I'm the single one, and it should be him who puts a stop to it. That would simplify everything. My guilt would be less, but I would still have a part in the dissolution of a couple. Fine! If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else. It's possible, but that doesn't make it any easier.

I'm clear about one thing: nothing can happen between us! We'll flirt and play, and that's it!

While we eat, I share with him my most aggressive encounters with the press. I am a bad example, and I make it clear that I don't want any of that to happen again.

"A negative reaction is what they thrive on," I say, receiving agreement from him. "What really gets under their skin is to ignore them. Act as if they're not even there. That's when they bring out the heavy artillery and try to hurt you. There have been moments when I've managed to stay calm, and other times... well, you have YouTube to see it. Those are the examples you shouldn't follow!"

"You don't have to worry. In my job, I had to face my bosses, and I knew how to keep my composure."

"Now that I think about it, I don't know what you do for a living."

"I'm an account manager at an insurance company. I have several partners above me, and they're not easy to deal with. I've had arguments with them several times. I never resorted to shouting or insults, or they would have shown me the door, but I stood my ground."

"Are you really a manager with that appearance?" He raises his eyebrows at my question. I think it sounded terrible the way I phrased it. "Sorry, now I'm the one using language inelegantly. I don't care how you dress or what your tastes are, but many companies are still very conservative when it comes to appearances."

"You're right. Anyway, I don't wear the piercings at the office, and my tattoos are covered by my shirts. Well, some of them are visible. But they remain hidden during important meetings."

"I'd like to see you in a suit. You have a good build."

"You'll see me in formal attire at the premiere of 'The Goddess of Death.'"