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The Deal

Someone took a picture of us...

I can't believe that bastard took a photo of us, and I didn't even manage to take a miserable selfie with her! Yes, I'm being frivolous. I can't help but think that with every passing minute, I'm falling more and more in love with her—let's call things by their name. I even hinted at it:

"Athena, this may sound strange, but these hours with you have made me laugh and have such a great time that I thank God for the plane malfunctioning. Don't feel bad." That's what I said! Sometimes, you don't need to explicitly say you love someone for them to feel it.

That hug... It was so beautiful that I'll never forget it. I don't think even the interview with F.J. Johnson could fill me with as much satisfaction as this. It's another feeling, maybe pride, happiness. I don't know. It fills my soul to have been able to help Athena feel better. I'm not just an idiot who can't do anything but stutter and make a few funny comments.

And to top it all off, she tells me that I deserve all the trouble of taking me to the other side of the United States! She may try to convince me that it doesn't matter, but the cost won't be a joke. It could be tens of thousands of dollars for the round trip! She feels so comfortable with me that she would spend that just to help me. I don't know. I don't feel as valuable or important to her for something like that...

Back to the photo: I don't know what's going to happen. It looks like some spontaneous person recognized Athena and wants to profit from it. The time it takes for it to leak and spread is a mystery. But I have no doubt that everyone will assume Athena Díaz is in Ponta Delgada with a guy—nothing could be further from the truth. Her peace will be disrupted, and consequently, she'll leave earlier than planned.

I sincerely hope they don't fix the plane—I hope the other passengers can forgive me. The saddest part is that I'm sure I'll receive a call soon informing me that my flight has been rescheduled with a guarantee to reach Los Angeles. I'll be able to do my interview and see how life surprises me... but without Athena.

What is this pain? Why do I feel my eyes welling up at the thought that I may never see her again? We get along better than I could have hoped: we laugh, we joke with each other, we could be confidants... and it's not enough for me.

It annoys me that I need more from her. I can't demand that she give me more of her presence, her laughter, her captivating nasal voice when she tells me her experiences, or allow me to feel her hug, touch her skin, or immerse myself in her perfume.

I have to return to the potential problem at hand: will anyone recognize me? Or will they only see Athena's face? That's assuming they only took one photo, which I doubt. Moreover, there's no guarantee that it hasn't happened before, and upon realizing that Athena was around, they didn't take more photos of us.

What will Rocio think of this? I'm pretty sure she won't like it. We've been going through a rough patch for several weeks. If it's not her, it's me who ends up causing an argument. We're exhausted. Life has taken its toll on us, and the seven years we've been together weigh heavily on us.

Erin... My beautiful daughter! You're swallowing so much shit that I don't know what the best option is anymore. I love Rocio, I want everything to go well for her, and I want us to find stability again. The problems we're having are wearing us down. I can't imagine a day of my life without her. But something has to change between us. We can't go on like this.

Maybe that's my problem: I can't go on like this anymore. My feelings for Athena are confusing me. I want to look at my relationship with Rocio in a positive light. I try to... Damn it! Who am I kidding? If I could date Athena and get to know her more, and if I knew that Rocio wouldn't be hurt by our separation but rather liberated, I would be willing to sacrifice anything. Except Erin.