Guests

The Weight of Responsibility

One of those moments is approaching that, when I look back, will always hurt, no matter how much time passes.

Our house... My house now feels so empty without Erin running around, wanting to grab everything within her reach and showing eternal surprise at the peculiar shapes and purposes of the objects she manages to hold with her little hands. Her inconsolable cries when she sees me going to another room and she can't come with me. Or her looks full of intention when she does something she knows she shouldn't. I miss her so much!

The phone rings again. I'm receiving more notifications than I can handle. I'll have to silence them all. Now I understand the weight of recognition. Journalists, agents, and fans are chasing me on social media. Fans! I never had to worry about that! In fact, I think I've never blocked so many women, men, or bots sending me explicit messages, spam, or pornographic photos. This is just a fraction of what Athena must have endured from the beginning. Now I understand why she uses a Community Manager!

Even my arrival at the Malaga airport was as disastrous as it could be with representatives who I don't know if they were more or equally annoying as the paparazzi taking photos of me and trying to extract some information about my relationship with Athena.

I heard all sorts of absurd questions, like the ones the other jerk asked with Johnson. I don't understand why such gratuitous aggressiveness. I find no pleasure in the sensationalism that many media outlets strive to share. Seriously, I've never had to exercise more self-control in my life!

Once I resolve this discussion with Rocio, I'll have to think about hiring an agent or representative, or both, because I can't handle this intensity anymore. I'm a person who enjoys solitude a lot. I'm not a hermit or anything. Simply put, I'm not afraid of being alone. When I have to be with friends or family, I enjoy it like anyone else. However, I miss the calm of anonymity.

I'm more encouraged because at least I'll have Erin with me until the weekend...

The damn phone is vibrating again. I check the notification on my watch and see that it's from Marian:

"I don't want to show you this, but you have to see it."

The message is accompanied by a link that takes me to a website that seems to be from the show hosted by Roland Litmanen. An interview with Gareth, Athena's ex. This can't be good.

I swear I couldn't watch it completely. If this has reached Athena, she must be devastated. I don't even think for a second and I call her. It's five o'clock here, so it must be eleven there. I think she was still free today. Tomorrow she'll meet with Connor and Kay, who will inform her of the dates when the Killing Floor team will shoot the scenes in which she will participate and the new dates for her Love and Live Tour, in addition to other commercial commitments and recording a new single.

You have no idea how strange it is to see her on TV or in music videos now. Before, there was no connection that bonded us—except in my fantasies. Now I see her and I know that incredible woman is my girlfriend.

"Rick?" Athena answers. Feeling her sad voice, and me being thousands of miles away unable to embrace her, hurts me more than I can say.

"Hello, Thee. How are you, my goddess?"

"Did you see it?"

"I'm afraid I did. I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"They won't leave me alone. Are you sure you want to...?"

"Don't finish that question, please," I interrupt. "Those idiots won't ruin this. I don't care what they say because I know who you are."

"I feel like the worst person in the world. You should be focusing on your talk with Rocio and enjoying seeing Erin again. You shouldn't have to deal with someone like me."