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Mindy's Paradox

One of the major problems authors face when using real-life characters is that we end up idealizing those famous individuals, and when we realize they have nothing to do with their literary counterparts, we become disappointed. I would like... No! I would love to be able to say that's not the case for me. I wish for it with all my might. Athena is so incredible in person that I realize my Mina doesn't do her justice. But how can I achieve that level of perfection?

Am I trying to steal fire from the gods? How close am I to that forbidden moment, where there's no turning back and all that's left is to try to push the rock up the mountain for the rest of my days?

I know I don't know her yet! We've only spent a couple of hours together, but it feels like she has always been a part of my life. Now I'm grateful that I didn't search for more information about her. I want her to tell me everything she wants, to peel away the petals that hide her secrets and make me a part of her life.

What am I thinking? Have I gone mad? Athena can't give me that place... I can't allow it! This is nothing more than a whim, the surprise of crossing paths with her that is confusing me. Nothing is going to happen. She is kind. She doesn't want anything from me. Why should I pretend there's something between us? Is it so difficult for us men to understand that there are women who want to be friendly with us, not our girlfriends?

Get that through in your damn head, Rick! Don't make a mistake! Don't distort reality! Don't confuse Athena with Mina. Mina is yours, Athena is free. Don't you dare imprison her because of feelings that take advantage of your fantasies and idealizations. Remember: when Kay leaves the prison, you won't see her again. And that's fine! She wanted to stroll through the Azores with her friend, not with you.

Besides, you can't do that to Rocio. She loved me and loves me through my good and bad times. Athena doesn't even know me and possibly never will. We're not a couple! We won't be! Moreover, I don't even know how she is in those difficult moments, if she's cruel when she fights. We each know from the other what we've wanted to show. The tip of the iceberg...

Why am I so infatuated? There it is! I said it! I've tried to disguise the idea and avoid facing reality. What's rational about falling in love with someone you don't know? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Her wavy brown hair, her chestnut eyes, her oval face, her straight nose, and her full lips... Get those thoughts out of your head! Do you realize it's all superficial? And when she teases me? Or makes clever comments...

I'm screwed. I feel really bad. Am I already being unfaithful to Rocio? Does desiring to kiss Athena count as betrayal? She can do whatever she wants; she's single. I'm the one who needs to set a limit. And I swear I'm making a tremendous effort.

Hold your horses, Rick! Even if you were single, you can't just go and plant a kiss on her. You'd earn a well-deserved slap. She has to want it, and there's the problem: I'm a slave to her desires —a good title for a book, by the way.

That's it, Rick! Think about books. Like Homer when he had to think about Barney when he felt attracted to Mindy. Wait! That didn't end well, did it? It was Marge that Homer ended up with, or was it Mindy? The episode wasn't clear. Marge wore Mindy's nightgown. There are many websites discussing this issue, and there are so many theories that support both infidelity and the supposed ending where the marriage survives.

Follow that train of thought! Get Athena out of your head... Stupid! I can't intend not to think about Athena because when I think about not thinking about her, I end up thinking about her. It's the ultimate paradox in psychology!

"We've arrived!" she announces happily.

She could have found someone else who would do a better job than me with the lawyer. If that guy says something I don't understand, Kay could end up in prison with a life sentence. Why do I get myself into these messes?