Loving My Knight

Full of Surprises

Someone is telling me to take some deep breath's, I'm not sure who, I can't work it out. Everything is still feeling hazy and my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest. "Where am I?" I ask myself. "You're at the arena. It's okay, you're okay. Deep breathing. Can you feel my hand?" Finally, I'm able fully open my eyes and keep them open. The first face I see is Jon Knight.

He's not even a foot away but he's kneeling down. I realise that it's his hand that's touching mine, it feels soothing. His touch is gentle. "Are you okay?" He asks me. Emotions kick in. Tears spring out before I get the chance to blink them away. It dawns on me as the realisation of this is my VIP experience and I take a look around the room. Then my eyes settle back onto Jon. He asks me what my name is, "hi, I'm Nina-Lili but you can call me Nina." He introduces himself as do his brother, Jordan, Danny, Donnie and Joe. I try to stifle myself from giggling because of course I know who they are and I think they realise that too when Jordan laughs "why are we introducing ourselves, I think she knows who we are, that's why she's here?!" Danny hands me a bottle of water as Caz must have told them how hot I feel, I thank him. They each give me a hug. Then Jon asks, "How are you feeling now?" Now I'm feeling more relaxed, I tell him, "I'm okay now, thank you. That was the first panic attack I've had in a while. I feel so stupid for wasting this wonderful experience with you guys." His face shows empathy towards
me and smiles, "don't ever feel guilty for having a panic attack. They can be brutal. I've struggled with them myself over the years." I feel my shoulders relax down when I realise that they're not judging me or my panic attack.
The next thing I hear is the guy who's holding a fancy camera calling for to take the photo. We all get in position for it. I have Jon to my right, Jordan to my left, Donnie directly behind me; with his hands holding onto my wheelchair handles, he has Danny to his left and Joey behind Jon. I notice Caz stood by herself but the guys must follow my gaze and ask for her to join in. She smiles and shyly moves over, she is standing between Donnie and Danny. Again, we all smile. Jon asks me if I'd like some individual photos as a gesture of goodwill due to my panic attack so I obviously agree to. I love how close the guys get to me for these so it's kinda like we're taking a professional selfie each. I thank each guy, Jared, the New Kids manager and the photographer who's name they did mention but has slipped my mind. Each of the guys hug us and thank us for coming. Jon gives me an extra squishy hug and reminds me of the breathing techniques whenever I struggle. Then they walk the opposite way to us. Just as we are leaving the room, Donnie comes over to us and asks where we're sitting at for the show, Caz digs the tickets out of her bag and let's him have a look.

"I'll be right back, stay, have a drink on me, okay?" We nod and move backwards slightly. Someone helps us to the little seating area and asks us what we would like. I'm dumbfounded. I don't know what to think. I ask Caz, "what's going on?" She sort of laughs, confused and shrugs her shoulders. She must see Donnie coming back before I do. "Ladies, Nina. okay lemme explain what is happening because you both look confused. Looking at your tickets, you are so far away from the stage and we would love to be able to see you both enjoying yourselves so what we are doing is finding you seats that are closer but that are safe. How does that sound?" I'm literally speechless. I've never had this happen before, it goes to show that they really do care and appreciate their fans. "Thank you, I'm sure Nina will absolutely love this." Caz tells him as he's perched in a seat opposite us with his lovely smile. He rubs his hands together as Jared approaches, "how do these look?"

He holds out the new tickets. We all glance at them. It takes me a minute or two to realise whereabouts they are located (from all of the times I've been here at this arena, I've kinda learned to remember which block is which and where). "Are you able to manage the few steps to the seats?" Jared asks me. "Yes, as long as we can park my chair right next to the steps and that my chair is well looked after." Donnie stands up. "That's great! We'll make sure it gets looked after. I have to go and get ready now, hope you both have a fun time and thank Jon for this, he was the one who suggested checking your seats. Love ya ladies!" He gives us both another hug, winks and disappears with Jared in tow. Oh my goodness! I look at Caz as if to say was that all a dream because I feel like I'm on cloud nine.
Just as we are calming down, Jared reappears with both of his hands full. He has a grin on his face. "The guys also wanted you to have all of the merchandise. It's getting rather hectic outside in the main foyer (where the main doors, confectionery and merchandise stalls, toilets etc are) so we thought we'd save you the hassle of all those crazy people. There's a bag each for you both. I do apologise if the sizes are a bit iffy though. See you out there!" Jeez are they always this kind and generous?! I'm not complaining in the slightest but glancing through the bags, they must be worth at least a couple of hundred pounds each. "Thank you Jared, very very kind. And to the guys too, especially to Jon." We both smile at him and wave him as he runs back,