My mom and I were on a small weekend vacation. For a while, I'd been playing a little game: I gave myself points for each thing I ate. The goal was to get a score under 10 at the end of each day. When things were normal and mom and I were home, it was pretty easy to eat whatever I wanted, in the exact quantity I wanted. She wouldn't notice if I chewed and spat my lunch in a bag. However, it was a little bit harder when we were on vacation, as we usually ate around other people. I decided to hit pause on the game while we were away, as it was only three days.
On the second day of our little vacation we decided to go to the beach. I didn't really feel very confident in my bikini (I didn't have long legs, a huge butt or a perfect flat belly), but I didn't care that much. I believed it was okay not to be perfect: nobody is.
I was standing in the ocean, just walking around and enjoying the sun, when I saw a girl who caught my eye. She was perfect. She was literally perfect. Her hair was dark, slightly wavy and very, very long. Her lips were not too thin, not too thick, perfectly shaped and a delicate shade of pink. She had a perfect nose. Her eyes were gray, framed by long eyelashes. Her cheekbones showed, her skin was cream colored and perfectly clear. I looked down at her body. Good lord. She was tall, and had perfect long legs with a thigh gap in between. She had a cute little butt, flat abs and her arms were all delicate and thin. Her hipbones and collarbones also showed.
I wanted to be that girl. She was everything I wasn't, and also everything I wished I was. I had blonde, kind of curly, frizzy hair at a very awkward length between my shoulders and my boobs. My nose was really big, and I absolutely hated it. My cheeks were huge; it was ridiculous. My face was full of acne, and even though I had tried everything, it wouldn't go away. My body? I was extremely short. My legs were very thick, no thigh gap at all. My butt didn't even have a shape, my belly was all weird and not toned or flat. My arms were pretty flaccid and ugly. No hipbones.
Oh well, what can you do. I would never be her, and that was it. I usually had these moments where I felt really bad about myself in general, but then I just got over it in no time. The girl looked at me, and I noticed that I'd been staring. I quickly turned my head away and walked back to the sand.
