(Mommy Issues Edition)
Set after Rescue
TW: Past Childhood Trauma, C-PTSD, Emotional Neglect, Mommy Issues
Hugh Kernan POV (Third Person Omniscient)
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Hugh didn't talk about their family much, it pained them too much to even just think about it.
They didn't specifically remember what their mum did wrong to bring them so much pain but they knew she did something, there are all these symptoms and emotions, and it feels like they have gone through trauma.
Their traumatic wound was more like what didn't happen versus what happened.
The kid thought about it a lot even after she died and they were adopted by Alex.
There were no memories of specific traumatic events but there were also no memories of physical touch from their mom where she scooped them up and helped calm them down. And they had to deal with their overwhelming emotions on their own.
Maybe the traumatic wound for them is that they don't have memories of someone encouraging them when they experienced personal failure. Like they just felt incapable, felt stupid, felt like they couldn't do anything right.
You realized your childhood had been taken away from you when you can't remember anything
They matured too fast, the childhood was taken away from them.
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One day, Hugh left their math test on the counter and forgot to put it away.
And when Alex saw it and was ecstatic that the kid had gotten a high mark.
At dinner, the ADA congratulated them on it.
"Hey, I saw your math test mark, you got a really high mark! Good job!"
"Thanks," Hugh mumbled.
When someone gives you a compliment, you push it to the back of your mind, thinking that they don't mean it. Because when you've been told over and over again that you are not enough, you believe it.
"What's wrong?" Alex saw their face and didn't show any emotion at all, not happy, not sad, nothing.
"Nothing..." The kid answered. "I don't like talking about my grades..." They continued after a while of hesitancy.
"Why is that?" The blonde asked.
"Hmm..." They hummed like it was a habit they did when they were anxious and need to say something they didn't want to. "Before my biological mum died, she was very strict."
"She monitored my academics extremely closely. Always judging me for not getting better grades. Every time the report cards came out, I would get these long speeches about universities, jobs, society, life, the future ..."
The kid continued, "On the outside, you don't see the pressure and it's silent but you know that she judges you from afar for not being able to meet her standards. You have no idea how hard the unspoken pressure is."
"Hey. You know I have no expectations right?" Alex moved closer to hold them and try to comfort them.
"Sure, " Hugh mumbled.
"I'm telling you the truth." Alex tried to reassure them. "I'm serious. No expectations at all. I will love you anyways.
They had grown to hate life, the talk about the future.
It's like they can never break from their biological parents' wrath.
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AN:
Me analyzing trauma be like...
Kid of an angry venting
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Alex Cabot and Traumatized Kid
FanfictionAlex and Olivia found a kid in a crappy basement, the kid got attached to Alex. and One shots of Hugh Kernan and Alex Cabot May or may not be in order This is going to be a really loooooooong sequel TW: Mental/Emotional Trauma, Selective Mutism, Aut...
