CWRC Anthology

WILLING TO TRY

©2023 by Sileas16
Brought to you by the Christian writers and reader club

There was sound somewhere, everywhere. Summer found it so hard to believe that one could sit in so much sound and only hear silence. She startled when a hand landed on her shoulder, then scolded herself for being so jittery. She'd long learned that fear was not something she ever wanted to feel again, but as she sat here with the hand of her pastor on her shoulder she had to admit she felt it. Felt fear.
" Are you ok dear?" He asked and she resisted the urge to snort,of course she wasn't. She was here, about to fight for the right to keep the man who'd killed her father and mother behind bars. The sheer notion that she had  to fight for that enraged her.
" I don't understand why they're doing this. He doesn't deserve parole" she gritted. Pastor MacKenna sighed
" If God wishes it so then that is what will happen"  her lips twisted in a silent sneer. She loved God, it was a relationship that had been fostered by her parents but there were times when she couldn't understand him. Those times seemed to have increased over the last ten years.
" If I have my way, he's never getting out," she muttered, rising to her feet. Not after what he'd done.
*************
Ten years ago
Summer hated winter, and not just because it was the opposite of her name but because of all its other attributes. Winter was cold and miserable and as she huffed marching through feet of snow she had to admit she was glad she'd gotten a scholarship to the sunshine state.
" Mom" she called pushing open the door
" Dad"
" In the kitchen honey" her mom's voice called out, she sniffled shutting the door behind her she pulled off her coat,mittens and boots arranging them. Her mom hated messes and Summer tried to obey her rules, she knew children who didn't and knew the repercussions of their actions, her aunt Millie was a good example.
" How was school?" dad asked handing a bowl to mom
" It was cold, I'm considering staying home for the rest of the week" she grumbled, mom laughed
" Tough it out you just have a few days to get through"
" I know" she whined
" Ok young lady, have some hot chocolate, then shower. We have service today" Summer winced she'd totally forgotten about it, making peace with the fact that she was unlikely to bundle up in bed for the rest of the day, she took the cup from her dad and trudged up the stairs.
Fifteen minutes later, she'd changed into a presentable dress and tugged on the thickest coat she could find and was on her way out the door, as her mom locked the door behind them. Dad was already in the car, the engine idling. Once they got in he drove them to the church that was thirty minutes away, snow had increased narrowing visibility, but dad hummed along to the Don Moen lyrics that played on the radio.
They arrived at the church early and rushed through the heavily pelting snow, sighing when warm air embraced her.
" Summer" she turned and smiled waving at her friend Margie
" Mom, I'm gonna go talk with Margie," she said and her mother nodded, she hurried past the pews and hugged Margie. They went to school together and had a lot of the same classes, where Margie was short and plump and wickedly smart, Summer was tall,slender and a bit average brain wise. Someone brushed by her shoving her into Margie and almost sending them to the floor, annoyed she turned around to find Claire 'the witch'. Summer knew it was wrong to call her that but it didn't mean the title was a lie
" Ignore her" Margie said and with a put out sigh she ignored Claire. Soon the choir were done setting up and the first sounds of the piano signaled the start of the service.
An hour and a half later, the sermon was done. Pastor MacKenna had stressed about forgiveness and how hard but important it was to not just forgive but to forget, letting bygones be bygones. Summer thought she could do it easily enough, she rarely remembered when someone offended her.
" So we'll meet up tomorrow, work on our project" Margie said and she nodded
"Yeah"
" Summer" she heard her mother call
," I got to go. See you tomorrow" she waved, dad was just saying goodbye to the pastor and joined her and mom at the door
" Alright ladies home it is"
********
Summer heard a creak, she turned over slightly and stared into inky darkness, she heard it again and sat up, mom and dad's room was on the other side of the house so it couldn't be them. Listening harder she heard footsteps, not just one. Trying not to panic she got out of bed and walked to the door, then she heard a scream,the feet paused then sccuried back downstairs
" What the f*** ? What did you do? " a male voice queried
" The board wouldn't tell me where the safe is," another answered, confused. Summer left the room and walked towards the stairs. She'd have called 911 but her phone was downstairs
" Where's the safe" the first man asked
" I don't know what you're talking about. We don't have a safe" her father said and Summer wanted to agree,to tell the man they didn't have one but her voice was stuck in her throat. She heard the cocking of a gun
" Tell me or I'll shoot her, '' he said, she whimpered. Her gaze caught on the landline, inching closer she reached for it, her hands were shaking as she pressed the buttons praying the call would connect, when it did she whispered rushing
"Please help, he's going to kill them"
" Who is, where are you calling from" there was a shot, Summer jumped
" Are you there, " the operator asked
" Please send help " she begged,tears running down her face
" Tell us where the f***ing safe is" the man roared, dropping the phone she ran down
" There is no safe.  please stop" she begged a sob rushed to her throat when she saw her mother lying on the floor bleeding
" Mom," she cried
" Summer, Summer look at me" her father called ,she glanced at him her gaze unsteady
"I love you baby" he told her and she nodded, crying out when the intruder pulled her hair, her father roared
" Leave her alone"
" Hello sweetie. How about you tell me where the safe is or daddy gets a bullet" he asked
" I don't know, there's no safe " she pleaded, the gun went off, she screamed
" Dad, dad"
" He's ok just bruised but you lie to me again and I can't promise that
" We don't have a safe" she said
" Is that the final answer" he asked ,dad groaned
" I don't– we don't have it" she stuttered
" Alrighty then" he muttered and fired another shot, he pushed her to the floor
" This was a f***ing waste of time" he groused raising the gun to her face, she closed her eyes praying that God would save her
" Freeze, this is the police" a voice roared, Summer sobbed as they men where tackled and handcuffed, she crawled to her parents body's shaking them
" Wake up,please wake up"

Present day
Summer flinched at the memory, and the brightly lit room this wasn't the parole board's office, where was pastor MacKenna
" Hello Summer" she turned to find the voice, and found a young man staring at her
" Who are you" she asked
" I am you" he said and the man turned to a woman ,she jerked in shock staring at a face that was just like hers
" How long are you going to weigh yourself down with anger and unforgiveness"
" I don't understand"
" You said you could forgive easily enough. Yet here you are ten years later and you can't give him a chance"
" He murdered my parents, how can you say that" she asked
" I know, but that's his sin, don't let his actions make you a sinner too"
" I -I " she stuttered
" The lord take all who stumbles but ask for his help"
" I know, I just, I want him to pay" she cried
" He has for the last ten years he has, talk to him and then absolve yourself" her apparition said
The bright light disappeared and she was alone
" Summer, the prisoner want to see you" pastor MacKenna said his gaze apprehensive
"Alright" she replied.
He looked small, not as large as she'd remembered him to be, his pale skin was ghastly against the orange uniform, the other intruder was dead, heart attack they said. But as she sat there looking at him she realized he wasn't that scary
" Why did you do it?" she asked. He hunched in in himself
" I was in a bad place then. It's no excuse but it's true"
" After your family, I had so much guilt, it wasn't supposed to have been that way. So I met this man in here, a preacher, he'd lost his way too like me, and he helped me "
" So now you're a Christian" she asked
" I try to be" he said and somehow those words touched her more than anything he could have said, cause he was right, being a Christian was redemption, but it was also trying. Trying as hard as you could to walk with Christ.
" You hurt me and my family, I never thought I'd forgive you. But I want to try, I hope you learned your lesson, I hope you keep trying" she finished, standing up,she walked out of the room.
" I'm so proud of you, I'm sure your parents are too" pastor MacKenna murmured, she shrugged
" I hope so but I didn't do it for me, I want to walk with Christ. I don't want this holding me back"
" Are you staying for the hearing" he asked
" I don't think I will"
Summer left the parole office, feeling lighter than before. The wounds still hurt but she would get over them. That was her redemption.