Chapter 5. Rain and Tears.

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Vitor,Everything happened so fast

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Vitor,
Everything happened so fast... I don't know what the reason is... It still happens. That town, that exact time...What is this place.. what are those fires.. the sounds of wailing and crying... horse legs,,sword sounds...
"Vitor watch out!!!"
I opened my eyes to find her sitting in front of me.. she was holding a book and reading, it was her... her voice I remember so well.. damn it! I couldn't do anything but look at her, she didn't notice me at first but when I did I was terrified! I was staring at her, I didn't talk, I don't know what to say... Selena told me to be nice to her, I don't know how to be nice to anyone.... She spoke to me I don't understand what she's saying I'm trying... damn! She felt embarrassed as i think so she left... I'm sure she was her! I don't know if she was angry or not... but I think she is... the wound no longer hurts, I don't feel anything anymore..yes it's still bleeding! Yes, the bleeding continues and will not stop until I take revenge. I stood leaning on chairs and walls until I could reach the balcony. I watched her leave. I kept looking at her until she disappeared. Do I feel guilty about her? No... No no of course not... I don't feel anything anymore.... I go silent when I'm upset and that's my worst traitor.
That bleak city The streets are dark and empty, it's raining... i hate rain it reminds me of that night.. it was also raining... it was dark and raining... it was awful. I hate it... Selina is all I have left now, I wish I could help her out of this filthy place she lives in, but I'm the one who needs help with my condition...
- Vitor! It was Selena's voice that pulled me out of those thoughts, I feel like I'm going crazy...
- Yes! i said and didn't turned my back out.
- How are you now!
- as you see, miserable as shit.
- Vitor you have too..
- No! I said cutting her words..... No never and don't talk to me about it again...i know what will she say, she will say forget it and keep moving in your life and that nonsense things, and i will say no I can't.. how!! I dreaming about what happened every night every second even when I'm awake! so we will not reaching any point!
- Fine , come and rest! She said but I didn't move, We were silent for a while, Selena is very smart, she also wants what I want but she needs a while to think first, while I do what I want first and then we sit and talk and think.
- What happened... why did Evey leave?
- I don't know ask her!
- Are you sure! I know you well! She supposed to stay tonight! what did you tell her! What happened tell me.
- Nothing happened!
- Vitor tell me what happened! She yelled.
- Nothing happened, she wanted to leave, so she left! I said it while trying to control myself so I wouldn't scream and swear that's what I want so bad.
- Come on..What did you tell her!!! What happened!! You don't appreciate anything, she saved your life don't understand!!
- I wish she didn't! I wish she didn't! I'm ashamed every day that I'm still alive that's all what i understand! I shouted at her face and that made her freaked.
- I'm sorry! She said.
- What do you think! I'm relieved!!! I'm Glad that I'm alive!! haa!! i swear that I'm ashamed... I feel ashamed that I'm alive cause I couldn't save my people I can't protect you from that bastard... I wish I had died that night and not feel so ashamed. I said She approached me and helped me to sit down, apologized again and then looked away for a moment and then looked at me again, she has Ramsy's eyes I feel like I'm looking at him..my friend who left early.
- What if Gods kept you for some reason? She said
- Gods abandoned us long ago.
- It's not true, gods are always with us through thick and thin. Evie always says that.
- Evie again! She doesn't even let me call her Evie! I said sarcastically.
- You're not friends yet! She said and laughed.....
- Listen Vitor. What you want will happen but we have to think well, you're still wounded and we still hide who we are, it's not easy here in London so we have to slow down, Robert's eyes are everywhere. She said and i smiled back... my wound! Sometimes it feels even deeper; the wound that covers itself. With a feigned and "dying" smile.
- fine! I said
- Calm down... what you want will happen... for sure! And if it doesn't... something better will happen in its place. and.....
- I know....Evie right.
- You never change, Vitor, huh!... I just want you to be nice with her.
- Whatever you want! I said
- I've to go now... good night. She said and kissed my forehead and she left the room.
I don't know if what she was saying is true or not, will the day come when I could take my revenge or are they just words that Selena said just to calm me down!!! I also have to be nice to that Evie! Be nice, what does that even mean? nice...

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