Edin Shaw (Discontinued)

Chapter 4

[2017]

I knocked on the door and waited for her to respond. I ran from school for this, when the door opened I saw Momma, I went in for a hug but stopped myself. I guess she never thought I would come back.

"I-I need to be punished for my sins. Don't I?" I told her. She immediately grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the house leading me to, yet again, a basement. Yelling on how could I do this, and how much of a devil's child I was. I took it all with a grin, I deserved this after all.

She stripped me of all my clothes and started carving crosses in my skin. Singing hymns of forgiveness, and whatnot. I passed out at some point, but when I woke up the blood was dried and she left me there. I looked around the room and saw a white piece of clothing.

When I stood up I heard the rattle of a chain, looking at my left ankle I saw that she chained it again. I swayed when I walked, probably due to the blood loss. I grabbed the thin dress and put it on. This is my problem, this is my punishment.

I let myself be strayed from God, I let a demon take me away. I let my temptation get the best of me, I walked into the wall and saw a blue chalk piece. I started drawing a church, it's been years since I was taken away from my salvation. I wrote verses on the wall again, I remembered every verse that corresponds with my sins.

I hummed hymns and songs that were drilled into my head. I laid down and fell asleep. Letting the nightmares take over. It was still the same thing, Vega leaving me, the bland days of being in the Shaws, and God striking me down. When I woke up, I saw momma pouring on, what I assume, holy water on me. I let it happen.

"Oh, Mary. How could you let the devil win? This will set back the process!" Her voice was comforting, I nodded. I felt a sharp sting on my cheek, "Speak when spoken to!" She shrieked, "Yes, mother." I whispered out.

"Good girl! Now let me cleanse you." I let my body be guided by her, letting her do whatever. I'm a sinner, nothing more to it. I wonder how the Shaws-no. Don't let your mind wander over there, Mary focus on God.

She left at some point, hours had passed and it was nighttime. I watched as the moon rose up, from the little window, just like the old basement. The moon is really pretty, as pretty as the lies Vega told me. Telling me he was my personal Angel, that he was here to protect me.

I fell asleep, and when I opened my eyes it felt surreal. I heard someone shout my name. That name. I ran immediately, until I saw someone who looked like me but older but different.

"Edin! Your name is Edin not Mary! It isn't safe here, go back." The person exclaimed, but I knew who they were. A demon, I shut my eyes and covered my ears. I yelled-temptation of the devil, that they were just telling me sweet lies to stray from God. I yelled and I yelled until I woke up soaked from my sweat, I hummed a hymn and fell back asleep.

Slowly days became weeks, it became mind numbing, pain was always happening. I couldn't complain after all I deserved it, I let a Demon lead me astray from the path of God.

Until one day, I was finally allowed to sit on the couch, but at the expense of being yelled at. Insult after insult my mother screeched. She grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked it to her face. Tears streaked my face, maybe I should've stayed with the Shaws.

"A Stubborn Thing You Are! I Told You To Stay In That Exact Position!" That was the only thing that I could understand.

"Listen! What do you have to say, demon child?" She asked.

"VEGA!" I shouted when I saw his familiar silhouette. I pulled myself away from her grip and ran to hug Vega, but I stopped. He left me, left me to rot with the Shaws.

"What were you doing? Even thinking?"He made his way to me, wrapping me in a hug. I pulled myself away from him and hit him repeatedly.

"YOU! You left me! I thought you were gone! I saw you as a father! And you left me! You can sense my emotions and you fucking knew! And yet what did you do!" I tugged at my hair, momma was in shock so she didn't say anything.

"What I did was the best outcome, I can't take care of you. The government would think I manipulated your family to act as a hero. Your mother is naturally this cruel." He retorted.

"You're consulting a demon?!" She finally had the strength to speak. I turned around and shoved her down. I kicked her again and again. I could feel Vega's core jump in shock.

"Well! You're helping me get back to the Shaws," I made my way upstairs as I continued to yell, "I'm not going to need anyone, and I will just help myself! Doesn't matter if I get hurt, or scarred. I already am! You failed me! I failed myself. I won't need help after this."

Opening the closest door I found a chest. I yanked off the lock and opened the chest. Laying on top was a box with no lid, and in it was laid down a red silk cloth and Moonstones. I grabbed the box and put it on the bed gently.

"Edin?-" I shot a hand up and just made a hand-motion for scissors. I felt some be put in my hand and I muttered a thanks. I cutted some cloth and wrapped it around five Moonstones.

"Stealing is a sin, I am sin," I muttered, "So nothing really matters, does it? Every action I take will only lead me to hell. So! I might as well have fucking fun, right Vega?" I reasoned to myself but still there was a pang of guilt as I stole the things I wanted. I shoved it aside and continued once done, I turned to face him. I looked directly into his black eyes.

"Take me away. I don't care," I slung the bag over my shoulders, "I just don't want to be hurt anymore." I allowed him to pick me up. Curling myself up against his chest I began to wonder.

Why did I think I only deserved a life of pain, was there ever a true reason of existing. I looked up at him, Vegas the only healthy parental figure I've had.

And yet he abandoned me, all because I was a burden. Just like how she says...I need to learn how to protect myself from these feelings. At least I'll have the name Shaw.