Sincerely, Jonah

Chapter 8

Fin, V and I met at our corner as usual. I listened to what they did all weekend, meanwhile I was stuck at home staring at the pictures of mom in my room. We were off Friday, due to something with the teachers, so we all had a 3 day break.

I was supposed to spend it with Fin and V, but ditched their plans. Dad probably thought I was asleep, or busy doing homework, so he didn't bother me.

I'm finding this town very haunting, which is weird because I can now say that we've lived here for a solid month. And for that solid month, Michael still hasn't  been responding to my messages.

Dad said he's probably been busy, and maybe that's true.
But on the blog site, he's been posting pictures of him at clubs we used to go to, friends we used to hang out with, and places we used to go together.

Last night when I was stalking his page, I saw how he's now buddies with the cool kids we hated. Well they hated me, and he knew that. I never realized how much hurt you feel knowing you've been not only betrayed, but replaced.

"Earth to Jonah???" V sings, waving a hand in front of my face. I blink and look at her. "I said what did you do last weekend? You didn't show up at the mall or answer any of our messages...."

"Yeah," Fin adds. "I saw these dope shoes you would've loved. It had the Nirvanas 'Nevermind' symbol on it.
I let out a small laugh out of exhaustion and scratch my head. "Sorry guys. I was going to go but I had lots of yard work and stuff to do with my dad."

See that is true, but it wasn't all that I was up to.

We step out of the crowd's way as we walk down the halls. The first thing we see is the fall decor, hanging on everyone's locker, along with fake cobwebs on the ceiling, around the lights. I told you I wasn't lying when I said that they're super festive. You can't blame them though. It's the best time of the year. Too bad I can't help it but waste it worrying about the wrong thing.

Our lockers are nearby, so we remain talking as we grab our books for our next class.
"If you don't wanna hang out with us," V says as she fixes her crop top and lipstick in the mirror, "Just say so."

Her voice is quiet but I can't tell if she's actually upset or not that I haven't been around. I never thought it would actually have an impact on them, or anyone.

"I'm sorry," I say. There's a lump in my throat that's hard to swallow. There's just...also...things that I haven't told you guys yet. But I am. I mean, I will."
Fin closes his locker and looks at me. His ruffled hair is all over the place, but still manages to look good, and his buttoned shirt is a little wrinkled.

"It's alright man, okay?" He was going to say something else, but the bell rings.
People start to crowd the halls.

"We'll see you at lunch?" V asks.
I nod.

Dad is going out of town for a job interview. I asked him why last night that he's quitting being a mechanic, since he loves to fix and create things, but he just told me that he's bored of it. I, of course, don't believe it. He's been doing it ever since I was little, even more since mom passed.

Now it's like he's throwing it all away, and I know it's because his paychecks aren't covering our bills.
Turns out, he also didn't tell me the truth about Trinity Academy. It wasn't free for me to attend. I did my research at the library and it costs an extra $3000 a month for me to attend.

It makes me angry, but guilty at the same time, because I'm costing him all of this money. He's paying every cent he has for me to get into a good college and make something of myself. And I swear, his favorite motto is always, "It's what your mother would've wanted."
What about what I want?