Sincerely, Jonah

Chapter 7

October < 3

Fin and V had stayed till midnight, and dad and I dropped them off. The weather is dropping. We have lots of blankets in the truck because our heater broke weeks ago. Dad says he's going to fix it but he just keeps "forgetting". I don't believe that.
When mom passed, we spent her expenses on the funeral. The whole town came. Dahlia flowers were everywhere.

I remember dad telling me how she always wanted a closed casket because she couldn't bare the thought of us seeing her with no life inside of her, and no blood running through her veins.

"It's okay to tell me that we can't afford it anymore," I say in a low tone, closing the door to the truck. We had just got home.
It catches him off guard, but he doesn't say anything until we get into the house. He sighs and rubs his eyes with one hand, and the other on his hip.

"Sorry I didn't tell you the truth."
I nod in understanding. "No, I get it." I really don't.
He walks into the kitchen and I follow him. The clock on the wall reads 2:17am.
"Look dad. I can find a job. Maybe at the bookstore down the street. That lady looks like she needs help running the place and-"

He stops me with his hand. "You're too young to work. What was it your mother used to always tell you? 'You have your whole life to work,' Plus it's my responsibility to keep us floating above water."

I open the fridge and grab a yogurt. "Well mom isn't here anymore is she? I mean, she would be but you just had to move us here for...? Because it's what she wanted? You didn't know what she wanted." " I slam the fridge shut.

Dad stands there, watching me in anger. "Oh c'mon, you think she was just some stranger to me? You think I don't miss her too? She was my wife, and I may not be hurting as much as you are right now, but it still hurts."

He then turns away and leans his fingers against the stove, looking at the tea he put on.
"Now go to your room. I have work to do."
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That night, I fell asleep at least 10 times. The nightmares of me being chased through a dark forest and abandoned park wouldn't stop, and everytime I fell asleep, they would just continue right where it left off. I woke up in a puddle of sweat the next morning to a note dad left, taped to my forehead.

"Hope you slept well. I'm off early to finish up on that bike at the shop. Take your meds, text me if you need me, and let me know if you're hanging out after school. Love you- dad."

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Today is game day, which means having to sit through a long pep rally and watching the cheerleaders shout nonstop. I was planning on skipping because I hate being in crowded places. It makes me feel self conscious and stressed, and why not just hide and read until it's over with? I can also get work done. The Essay for Ms.Kern is due at midnight, and I've only written just under 200 words. But other than that and my history notes, I have everything in check.

When the bell rings and people start running to the gym, I gather my books and begin walking along the sidelines, in the other direction. Kids push me against the lockers. Some just purposefully shove me out the way, not even bothering to stop and apologize.

It's my 2nd week here. I'm used to it.

It's when I'm just about to walk up the stairs when I see Fin and V, running down the stairs in their school spirt uniforms. V is wearing the school colors stripes on her face with her curly hair in a big ponytail. Her dark blue headband brings out the color in her eyes. Fin on the other hand is wearing Tiger ears with the nose and stripes makeup. I never noticed how he wears mascara.