Sincerely, Jonah

Chapter 16

January <3

We are 2 weeks into the 2nd semester and still no signs of them. I haven't spoken to either one of them since the Secret Santa, and gave up on trying to call their houses. It was to the point where V's mom had to block my number and Fin's dad told my dad that I need to stop bothering them.

He wasn't too happy to hear that from him, because that's his only friend besides Elisa, and I think he doesn't want to disappoint; especially since Fin's dad is the boss up at the warehouse.

I've been eating lunch with Taylor and her friends at school. You might think, 'Wow Jonah, that's good. At least you have other people to talk to.'
If you are thinking that, you're wrong. All they talk about is what color they're getting their nails done next time they go to the salon and how Leonardo Dipapdrio looked 'so hot' in the 90's. They're not wrong though. I'll give them that.

I wasn't all that interested in them though, and often found myself thinking about Fin and V and how they're doing. Every once in a few hours my mind would travel back to that kiss he gave me in his car. I'm saying 'kiss' because I don't want to bring myself to the fact that it wasn't just a kiss. It was a full on makeout sesh that lasted for minutes.
I feel weird about myself too, because I don't regret it.

When I got home from school, I drop my backpack by the door and take off my shoes. The weather is a bit warmer and the snow is melting, but still freezing. I'm humming to an old song with my headphones on. I'm so busy in my own world that I don't see Dad, leaning against the kitchen doorway.
"Jesus...." I say, pulling off my headphones. I swear the spirit in my body just left me. I start laughing, but stop when I realize  he'sn not.

I take off my coat. "You're supposed to be at work."

He doesn't move an inch. "Yeah, I am supposed to be at work, but I took off today." Finally, he walks into the kitchen.

"Wanna know why?" he shouts.
My heart drops.  Even though I can't put a finger on exactly what I did wrong, I know it's something bad.
I follow him, and on the counter sits all of my pill bottles.

Oh. That.
"Care to explain why the hell you haven't been taking your medicine?" he asks in a firm tone. He's never cursed at me before, not even when I broke a tv or scraped our truck when I was younger.
I've been stopped taking them since christmas time. Dad's lucky I didn't stop when they were making me feel like crap. Later on though, I felt like it was working.

"I do take them," I lie.
That wasn't a good idea, because when I try walking away, I hear him slap his palm on the table, making the floor shake.

I turn around and his eyes are now closed. "I counted them and you haven't in weeks." He wipes his mouth. "I thought I could trust you."
That hit right in the chest. I've been doing a good job staying out of the way and trying not to put more stress on my dad and look where that's gotten me.

I sigh. "Fine. I haven't been taking them. But don't need to. See?" I smile, trying to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with me anymore. "I'm better now. You should've saw me at school the last 2 weeks. . I didn't even get anxious around a crowd."
He lets out a scoff that takes me aback. "Jonah."
I shrug. "I know, that's good news. Just wait until spring and I'll probably be an entirely different person."

He stares at me in concern for a couple of moments. "You can't get better."
I frown. What does he mean? How would he  know that?

"What?" Was all I managed to get out.
"I mean, you can get better.... But it's not in the way you want to or at least think." He holds up one of the prescription bottles. "These take time...."
"Yeah," I cut him off. "I know. I've been on it for months. They're working."